You're Fasting??...And, You're Fasting WHAT???

So, it's January and time to fast.  This hasn't always been a part of my life.  In fact, I'm quite the newbie to fasting compared to other people in my life.  My mother-in-law, aka "the queen of fasting" has been doing a total liquid 21 Day Fast in January for the last 12 years.  If you're new to fasting and you're looking for encouragement, she will do it.  If you're looking for a cheerleader, she will be it.  Lindy, who had never been able to fast for more than about 36 hours, has also done the 21 Day Fast for the last several years along with a growing group of people in our church and others who are interested in seeing what God can do when they purposely deny their flesh.  I did the 21 Day Fast three of the last four years and did well each time until last year.  I made it to about Day 18 last year before I started having some trouble with my inner ear.  Thank God that last year on Day 18 was the LAST TIME I had one of my horrific, room-spinning, upchucking episodes.  Maybe God honored my faithfulness to Him.  Maybe he chose to use the upper cervical care I was getting at that time.  Maybe He fixed me because I was speaking His Word--and continue to speak His Word--over my body.  I don't really care how He did it.  I just care that I am better and if He used my fasting to do it, then it was worth it.

When I stopped my fast on Day 18 last year I started thinking about what I would "fast" this year.  Turns out I felt like God was telling me to give up three things that are very near and dear to my heart, or at least my flesh:  Sweets, Soda, and Shopping.  I began fasting those things as I did the 7 Day Pre-Fast.  (That's the prescribed diet that gets you off all the junk you're putting in your body and prepares your body for a liquids only fast).  For those people who aren't fans of chocolate chip cookies, a good fountain Coke, or shopping for just about anything; then fasting those things wouldn't mean much to you.  But, they mean a lot to me; and it's been difficult.  I was having a particularly rough day and having a bit of a pity party for myself about why I opted to give up both sweets and soda.  I was stressed out and really in need of either a Coke or a Snicker bar, a chocolate chip cookie, a brownie...  Sorry, I digress.  When I couldn't turn to those things to make myself feel better I had to resort to praying that God would bring peace to my day and give me wisdom.  OK, isn't that the point of fasting and denying your flesh?  At least it's one of the points.  I don't consider myself an emotional eater, but a well-placed piece of chocolate in the middle of my day just makes everything better.  There's nothing wrong at all with sweets, at least in moderation, but using them to take the place of turning to the true source of our help is wrong.

Of course one of the side benefits of fasting is losing pounds or inches.  This would not necessarily be a bad thing for me.  I haven't measured, but even though I haven't lost any weight I definitely feel less bloated and slimmer around my post-three-baby belly.  I definitely have issues with sticking to any sort of restrictive diet because I'll tell myself as long as I can still fit into my Size 6 jeans then everything is fine.  I don't want to be a Size 2 or 4 anyway.  That would mean buying all new clothes and I know I would never stick to any diet plan that would cause me to maintain that size.  Of course, I also choose to blame my "big bones," which is true but not a very good excuse.  In the end, I have to remind myself that my end all goal in fasting sweets and soda is not to get skinny, but instead, to deny my flesh and see what God wants to teach me through it.  If I slim down in the process, then I'm not going to shed any tears over it.

Now, onto the fasting of shopping which sounds awfully silly.  I almost find myself apologizing to people for my silliness when I explain that I'm fasting shopping.  Don't misunderstand me.  I'm not one of those women who goes out and maxes out credit cards, puts her family in dire straits, or hides purchases from her husband.  However, I do shop as a sport and buy things that I don't really need.  More than anything, I have really had to repent over this one.  I had lost sight of needs vs. wants and just buying something because I see it and think I need it or Lindy needs it or my kids need it.  I had to buy Ethan and Gavin new tennis shoes, but other than that I have not purchased anything other than groceries or food since January 3.  If you're laughing out loud at this point, then you aren't a shopper...or maybe you're laughing to hide the fact that you're uncomfortable with the idea of giving up shopping.  I've been praying about, and leaning towards, being accountable to Lindy for my post-fast purchases.  As far as husbands go, he is a dream when it comes to not nagging me about shopping.  He also has a bit of an issue with shopping for sport too, but that's his to deal with and not mine.  I'm not imposing my self-imposed restrictions on him.

Yesterday we were out by ourselves and quite a pair together.  He couldn't eat and I couldn't shop.  We went to St. Louis Bread Company and sat together drinking hot chocolate.  He had to smell all the food.  Then, he talked me into going into Nordstrom Rack.  He got me back by me by having me go in a store and not shop.  I did pretty well.  At one point when I was trying on sunglasses in the men's department (I know, I'm sad and desperate), I asked him if it was really shopping if he bought them for me instead of me buying them myself.  He didn't buy it...literally.

So, my fast will continue until Monday, January 30.  I'm really praying that I get out of this all that God desires for me to experience.  I trust that it will be a time of growth for me.  After all, if we're not going forward what's the point?  I'm not a fan of the status quo.  I always want to do better.  I want the same for you.  Know that if you're fasting this month and denying your flesh, I'm praying for you.  You can do it.  I know you can because if I can do it you can too.  If we are in Christ then we can do all things through Him who gives us strength.  Let Him be your strength.  Don't let Coke, and shopping, and chocolate cake, and York Peppermint Patties, and chocolate fondue, and cinnamon rolls, and....  Sorry, I digress AGAIN!!


Later...Love to All.

My Management Style...or maybe just How to Get Along with People

I am not crazy about the fact that I haven't written a blog post since Thanksgiving.  I am by NO MEANS a professional blogger, but I really enjoyed it when I was keeping up with it about once a week.  I'm really  sad to see some of my oldest friends let their blogs go by the wayside when that was my main way of staying up with their current lives.  I don't plan on letting that happen, but I don't like to write just anything in order to just have something to post.  Don't get me wrong.  During the Christmas season I thought of a few things I could write about but none of them seemed "blog worthy."  I wanted to write about my ways of coping with my Christmas control issues but it wouldn't have made for a very long post as I'm only a little less controlling and uptight than I used to be.  I do have strategies though that, when implemented, make me an easier person to get along with when it comes to all of the extra stuff that goes along with the real reason for Christmas.  Now that Christmas has come and gone I have moved on.

Today brought to light something that might be blog-worthy.  For me blog-worthy is something that is really funny, has some sort of take-away, causes me to be transparent in a way that might be helpful to someone, or all of the above rolled in to one amazing blog post.  For the record, I am really hoping that 2012 isn't as eventful as 2011.  If you go back and read in the February to April section of 2011 you'll understand why I'm praying to have to really search for something to write about this year.  So, here's the first one for this year and it's actually something that I wrote 8 years ago.  One of my co-workers, Tracie, reminded me of this little bulleted list describing my management style that I wrote all those years ago when I spoke to a group of peers in my company.  It was a regional meeting and given that I had been around for 7 years at that point in a management position I guess our consultant thought I had something to share.  Tracie reminded me of this because we have a new supervisor in the office and whenever I have a new supervisor I bring out this list to describe my management style and to, hopefully, give them some advice in working with their own employees.  I had forgotten about it since it's been five years since I looked at it and I hope I still do all of these.  Admittedly, some days are better than others.  I can always do better.  In reading this list, it may seem a little specific (I'm a nurse who happens to be in management for a hospice agency and I supervise people who are also supervisors).  However, I think many of these will hit home to my readers, regardless of whether you are in management or you work in an office environment or you just have to simply get along with people.  Maybe I should have titled it "How to Get Along with People."  By the way, "PCC" stands for "Patient Care Coordinator" and is the title of the supervisors who report to me.  Anyway, here you go, and I hope there is some take-away for you.  I'll try to come up with something that I didn't pull out of the far reaches of my computer for my next post.

My Management Style

(In relation to clinical supervision)

• Hire the right people.  Don’t just hire someone because of their ability to accomplish the tasks listed on their job description.  Make sure they will fit in with the group.  Try to find people that will have varying strengths and weaknesses and will be able to contribute different things to the group.  NO WARM BODIES.
• Respect isn’t automatic just because of the position you hold.  It has to be earned—on many different levels.  If the PCCs respected my ability to make clinical decisions, yet they saw me always taking the position of saving a buck for the company, would they really respect what I always say about the patient being the top priority?
• It is in your best interest, as a manager, to take a genuine personal interest in your employees.  If you show you care for them on a personal level they will be more likely to give you 100% on a professional level.  I view my employees as my “patients.”  They are the source of my satisfaction as a nurse in feeling that I care for others and can feed into their lives by making this a positive work environment.
• Use your nursing assessment skills to gauge each individual on a daily basis.  Become someone who is adept at reading people and treat each person as an individual.  Don’t let interpersonal conflicts or bad feelings fester.  Intervene without taking sides.  Be Switzerland.
• Try to always remain calm, even if chaos is trying to push in on all sides.  Your staff will take your lead and respond in like manner.  Likewise, always remain positive and give people the benefit of the doubt.  Remember, you hired the right people.  Show them that you believe in them.
• Don’t view your employees or treat them as if they work for you.  They are, after all, employees of the company.  I try not to refer to them as “my PCCs.” 
• Don’t be afraid to delegate.  Remember, once again, that you hired the right people.  If they were bright enough for you to offer them the position, trust them to do their job.
• Remember, this is a team environment.  If one of the PCCs, or more, is out of the office, I pitch right in and help with the clinical tasks.  You are not above doing an admission, a visit, or even answering the phones.
• Play the devil’s advocate.  This will help them to broaden their viewpoint and will teach them to make decisions independently.  Your knowledge base must be sufficient for you to be successful at this. 
• Don’t micromanage.  It is your job to look at the “big picture.”  This is one of your most important job functions.  Teach them to also look at the big picture.  Their “picture” will not be as big as yours, as your viewpoint is much greater, but they can learn to see it in their own team.
• A big plus is having an administrator who trusts your ability to make sound clinical decisions that will have an overall positive financial impact on the branch.  I have always been blessed with this.  If you are micromanaged, you can’t do your job effectively.  Of course, you have no control over this.
• Maintain confidentiality no matter what.  Whether it is regarding your employees’ personal lives, or work issues regarding field employees, learn to keep a secret.  If you can’t be trusted, you can’t help anyone.  They won’t come to you for support or advice.
• Don’t ever play favorites or undermine their peers to the others.  Each quality person that you hired has her own strengths and weaknesses and should be treated individually.
• Be able to identify your own weaknesses and work to overcome those.  As your program grows you may identify weaknesses you didn’t realize when managing a smaller program. 
• Expect mistakes to be made—both by you and others.  Because you hired the right people, they will be harder on themselves than you ever could be.  Turn mistakes into opportunities to learn and don’t broadcast them to the rest of the team unless it is as a productive lesson to help others learn.  Quality people will be able to learn from others’ mistakes.
• Be a person who is quick to acknowledge a job well done.  It doesn’t take away from you to recognize someone else’s accomplishments, it adds to you. 
• Never stop trying to do a better job.  Look for ways to learn to foster teamwork and improve your management style.
• Remember, people are usually smarter than you give them credit for.  They will identify a critical attitude and negative atmosphere without much prompting.  Always work to maintain a positive work environment.  This is especially important in the work that we do.  Dying is depressing enough without the workplace also being a drag.
• Always remember that no one is irreplaceable.  If you left tomorrow, your branch would not fold up and cease to exist.  A sign of a good manager is that the office runs just as smoothly in your absence as in your presence.  If you’ve done your job the way you are supposed to, you will have a well-oiled machine that looks easy and as if it happened by accident.