I often feel like we get so bogged down with everyday stress and trying to accomplish everything we're expected to do that we end up taking life, and ourselves, way too seriously. People are really stressed out these days. I kind of think we would be more content if we were able to find the funny in everyday life. Now, if I didn't possess the ability to laugh at myself and the crazy circumstances I find myself in I would be a malcontent, maladjusted miserable Mom. But, because I can find the funny I tend to be pretty content most of the time.
Take last Saturday morning, for example. Whatever was I thinking when I decided to take all three of my kids to Walmart!! in the middle of the day!! to buy school supplies!! on tax-free weekend!!?? I must have been out of my mind. I also went without eating or drinking anything that morning. Big mistake. My real goal was to be at the Gap Outlet when it opened on Saturday morning at 9:00. I had told Lindy this. He was very kind and let me sleep in, but when he woke me up at 8:40 he asked, "Aren't you supposed to be at the Gap by 9:00?" Well, yes, I was; but apparently, not now. My original plan had been to only take Gavin with me because the older two boys were supposed to go to the gun range with their Dad. That didn't happen due to rain in the forecast so all three of them decided to go with me. They have to pick out their own school supplies, you know. The Gap was pretty much an OK experience, but Walmart was a different story. I was there 15 minutes trying to negotiate Moms and Dads with carts and screaming kids in the aisles before I was wishing I was in a Calgon commercial. (I guess you have to be above a certain age to appreciate that reference. Apologies to my whippersnapper blog readers. You'll have to search youtube for old Calgon commercials).
Anyway, I have three boys with three lists each vying for my attention. I'm trying to remain organized--I'm still me, after all--and it was not working. After a few laps around the school supply section where I'm thinking that I could have made this shopping experience much more user-friendly had I been a Walmart employee; and after thinking up words of advice for a Dad to get his 2-year-old to stop screaming with none of them sounding very polite in my head; I knew I had to escape to the grocery section. As usual, when I have all three boys in tow, I had already given them my obligatory pre-grocery shopping lecture on the way into the store. It goes something like this: "When we get in the store there will be no whining, no begging for stuff, no putting stuff in the cart without asking, no fighting with each other, no touching each other, no using items in the store as weapons against each other, no arguing over who rides on the cart...." It's actually a much longer list and they can pretty well recite it back to me. Once we got to the grocery section of Walmart I think they were also about ready to get out of there. We got our groceries, picked out a cookie cake for Ethan's birthday dinner--which was only about 6 weeks ago so we aren't doing too bad--and left the store. Pretty uneventful so far.
Wendy's is a stone's throw away and by this time I'm in desperate need of a Coke--not coke, as in cocaine--but a Coke, as in caffeinated beverage. I wasn't that desperate. So we go in and sit down with our food and the boys start in with one funny story after another. It's not hard to find the funny with these three but they were getting louder and more expressive as we continued to sit there. Gavin is next to me and Jac and Ethan are across from us. Gavin is on his knees on his chair drinking Coke from my straw. One of his brothers said something funny and what should happen at that point? Well, of course, Gavin spewed Coke out two orifices (nose and mouth) all over the table--including my phone. Of course, this made them laugh even harder after the initial shock. At this point I put a very serious look on my face and said in my sternest Mom voice, "BOYS!! STOP...HAVING...SO MUCH FUN!!!!" I was halfway through the sentence before they froze in place. Jac's eyes were as big as saucers until I finished the sentence and then they were all writhing with laughter once again. You see, I could have gotten upset after the morning I had just experienced and now Gavin has spewed Coke all over our food and my iPHONE!! but I chose to find the funny instead. After all, they are only mine to enjoy for so long and then one day I'll have to turn them over to wives and lives of their own.
Once we got home it only got better. We had driven Lindy's Pilot that day and knowing how important it is to him to avoid all potential scratches, dings, or nicks to either vehicle; I parked in the driveway rather than the garage so that walking between the vehicles with loaded Walmart bags that might potentially brush up against them could be avoided. Our driveway is on a slight incline which I didn't think about as I usually drive the car which has a trunk and is different than the back of an SUV. The back hatch opens on its own and as it opens--but before it has fully opened where I can get close--out rolls our watermelon on to the driveway where it hits--SPLAT. It cracks open and continues rolling down to the end of the driveway. In the three seconds it takes for us to watch the watermelon roll down the driveway--and while the hatch is still opening--I hear a duller kind of SPLAT--and feel something cold on my feet. Yep, the gallon of milk I just purchased has now rolled out onto the driveway, busted open, and within about 10 seconds we got to see what a gallon of milk looks like on aggregate in the middle of a 100 degree day. Nice. Of course, the only person who doesn't see the humor in this is the one person who didn't just experience the morning we have had. Lindy. He has a logical suggestion which would have prevented this occurrence. "Well, you should have had the watermelon and milk in bags and hooked them on to the hooks in the back of the vehicle." Well, yes Lindy, that makes perfect sense and I should have thought about the potential of the watermelon and the milk rolling out of the Pilot and onto our driveway before I left Walmart. Thank you for that fine suggestion. Jac was on hose duty and I was able to salvage the watermelon after Lindy carried it inside. Our only loss was one gallon of milk. The rest of the groceries and school supplies survived the trauma of arriving at our house.
Later that day I was putting laundry away in my bathroom when I knocked our container of Qtips on the floor where they all proceeded to scatter. What could I do but laugh? This was the kind of day I was having.
Yesterday I spent the day out of town helping with a training for brand new hospice nurses. I was the first speaker and my slot was for 2 hours. I purposely wore my bright turquoise flower-patterned pants with a coordinating top and shoes. I was joking with the group that I wore the pants to keep them awake and that I knew what they were thinking: "There's the girl that buys those pants!" Do you ever go shopping and look at certain items of clothing and think to yourself, "Who would buy those?" Well, these are those kind of pants and I told them that now they know the girl that buys them. I told them that I had a similar experience once when I saw the girl who buys the Coach shoes that match the Coach jacket and the Coach bag. I love a Coach bag. I can even handle the matching Coach jacket. I was just pleasantly surprised to finally see the girl who buys the bag, the jacket, and the shoes and then wears all of them together. Likewise, we had a little entertainment at work not long ago when we saw a guy in the parking lot with bright peach dress slacks, a matching peach suit jacket, and matching patent leather peach shoes!! Seriously. I'm not kidding. And, he was a white guy. Just sayin'. Like "peach sherbet"--as one of my co-workers nicknamed him--I'm not afraid of color and I like my floweredy pants. In fact, one day Lindy sent me a text that said something to the effect that he loved me and could never live without me. I was wearing those pants that day and I texted him back and said, "That's a good thing because there aren't many guys out there who can handle a girl who wears brightly flowered turquoise pants."
Anyway, while I was doing my PowerPoint presentation yesterday all of a sudden the slides started going backward. I asked the class,"Haven't you seen those slides before? It seems like they're going backward." They all confirmed that, yes, the slides were going backward. It took me more than a few seconds to realize that I had my thumb on the wrong button on the remote and I was repeatedly pushing it. I apologized and assured them that it wasn't going to be my only blonde moment of the day.
I could recount story after story of just living my life where I choose to find the funny. I choose to live that way because life is too short to take ourselves so seriously. Lindy and I take much pleasure in making fun of each other and, especially, in making fun of our kids. After all, why have kids except to make fun of them? They are getting old enough now to give it right back. A good sense of humor can do a lot to ease the stress in life that is inevitable. And...the Word of God says that the JOY of the Lord is our STRENGTH. So, let's have some JOY and let God make us strong in Him. There's your spiritual spin on my just-for-fun blog post.
By the way, for my grammar-loving friends: I am aware that my subject-verb agreement is not perfect in this blog post. I'm willing to find the funny in that and publish it without perfecting it.
Love to all,
