My Baby Jac is Turning Twelve

My firstborn is turning 12 years old.  That seems impossible.  I know to women who have been mothers for 50 years, being a mother for 12 years is nothing to write home about; but it seems momentous to me at this time.  As I'm writing this I'm thinking back to my "watched pot" period that occurred between June 1 and June 10 twelve years ago.  You see, Jac was due on June 1 but he didn't make his appearance until June 10 and those were the longest ten days of my life.  Today happens to be June 4 and it was on that date that I had a "failed induction."  Honestly, I can probably count on one hand the number of women I know who have been overdue with a baby and have been sent home to percolate some more after having a pitocin drip running for 16 hours.  Failing at childbirth, especially when I'd never been through it before, was not my proudest moment.  Turns out Jac was having a little trouble entering this world because he was so enormous.  It was a difficult delivery, when it was finally time; and he arrived weighing in at 8 pounds, 12 ounces and measuring 23 inches long.  It was kind of surreal.  I had always imagined having a little baby that could be easily cuddled.  Jac was so big that when you held him his legs dangled over your arms.  There was really no swaddling to be done with my overbaked baby.  He was never able to wear baby booties--feet were too big and he couldn't wear his cute little 0-3 month feetie pajamas--legs were too long.  I guess I could have forced him to wear them but I didn't want his little toes to stay permanently curled under just so that I could see him in his cute little jammies.  I know that's surprising to some of you.  You would think I would sacrifice Jac's comfort for his cuteness, but I did not.

He looked like Mr. Magoo and he had a cone head due to the vacuum being used to extricate him from his comfortable home.  I was one push away from a C-section, my friend.  When they showed Jac to me, I secretly thought, "This is the baby that Lindy and I made???"  Later on, I found out that Lindy was thinking the same thing.  Trust me, he was much cuter on Day 2 or 3.  In fact, when Ethan was born we commented that Ethan looked like Jac on Day 2 or 3.  Ethan was a much easier delivery and the doctor said that Jac had paved the way for him.  I wish I had some pictures handy to post of Jac as a newborn but he was born before we were fully engulfed in the digital age and I don't have any that I can easily access.

My overdueness was really my only issue during pregnancy except for what my doctor eventually termed "impressive swelling."  Let's just say that my feet grew from size 8 to size 9 1/2 and I had to wear stretchy canvas shoes at the end of the pregnancy.  I called them my "Gilligan"shoes and they went in the trash soon after returning home from the hospital.  The benefit of having a half grown baby was that he ate good and he slept good.  He slept through the night not long after coming home from the hospital and when it was chow time he was ready.  I have to give him a little credit for helping me to lose every last baby pound in 2 1/2 weeks.  You read that right--2 1/2 weeks!!  I would encourage you to be envious of me if I had been able to repeat that rapid weight loss after baby boys 2 and 3; but, alas, it was not to be repeated.

Jac was a good baby and had an outgoing personality from the beginning.  He didn't object to anyone holding him and he was pretty low-maintenance.  He was a great baby for a first-time Mom.  Lindy was much more skilled at this baby thing than me because his sister, Cayla, was born when he was 14.  The first month--especially the first week--was really difficult for me and I remember wondering whether I had done the right thing in becoming a mother.  Even though Jac was a good sleeper there was still quite a bit of sleep deprivation on my part.  If you've ever breastfed and lain awake at night wishing your baby would wake up so you could get some relief, you understand what I'm saying.  I will spare you from any further explanation, but nursing Moms with babies who sleep well at night will understand that this doesn't always equate to Mom getting to sleep well at night.  Apart from that, my first month of being a mother was not all butterflies and sunshine.  I've heard other new Moms express the same feelings, but no one really remembers anyone warning you about this dark side of motherhood.  When you're expecting your bundle of joy you only want to focus on all the wonderful parts.  It definitely gets better as they get older, but now I'm trying not to listen to the people who say that it gets easier until they get to be teenagers and then it gets harder again.  Bottom line is that motherhood is riddled with the good and the bad and everything in between.

When Jac became a big brother right after he turned three years old, he came home from visiting Ethan at the hospital and he expressed to his Mimi his concern that Ethan had no arms and legs.  Ethan was tightly swaddled and, apparently, looked to Jac as if he had no arms and legs because all Jac could see was his head.  He had to check out Ethan's movable limbs the next time he visited.  I'm not sure what Jac expected out of a baby brother but he asked me repeatedly when Ethan was a newborn when Ethan was going back in my belly so he could have a baby sister.

The video was created by Lindy right before Ethan was born when Jac was almost three years old.  The background music is the song Lindy wrote and then sang at Jac's dedication when he was three months old.  He had a friend help him with getting it recorded with piano and then he used it as the background when he made this video.  Watching the video is something none of us have ever been able to do without tears in our eyes--even Jac.  In fact, when Jac's brothers want to get him riled up they will start singing the song to him because they know it makes him cry.  What are brothers for if not to torture you with singing?  So, if you ever hear Ethan or Gavin following Jac and singing, "You're my ten favorite words..." you'll know what that's all about.  (If you want to give my husband trouble about something, please tell him that he needs to write songs for the other two boys).


Jac's first day of kindergarten was a major event for him and for me.  Here are a couple pics.

Is he not the cutest thing ever?

He had never spent one day in preschool but he could tell you everything he would be doing in school from the time he was three years old.  He could say his ABCs with the exception of the letter "J" which I found interesting.  Fast forward three years and when Ethan started kindergarten he also left out the letter "J."  Weird.  Jac took to school quickly and has always excelled academically.  A lot of things come easy to Jac and sometimes it's difficult to convince him to put forth his best effort if he can succeed without really trying.  He's been placed in advanced math (pre-Algebra) for 7th grade and I'm starting to have flashbacks of my junior high and senior high years.  I did a pretty good job at convincing my parents that I was one of the smartest kids in my regular classes but the dumbest in my honors classes.  I was also the best clarinet player out of all the kids who didn't actually practice at home--and I was proud of this.  In other words, I didn't think it was worth it to put in the extra hours of study or practice if I could still succeed.  I've learned since then that it's important to have a spirit of excellence no matter what you set out to do while at the same time recognizing that you can't be the best at everything and you have to decide in what areas to focus your attention and best efforts.  I hope that, eventually, Jac will come to the same conclusion with a little guidance.

Jac has always been a very compliant, contemplative, sensitive child.  With the exception of Ethan, he is always concerned about other people.  He does have his own measure of concern for Ethan evidenced by his reaction to Ethan's ski accident and his recent hospitalization but he seems to possess a much greater capacity for patience when it comes to other people.

When Jac was younger--around 1st and 2nd grade--if you asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up he would say, "Lifeguard."  (He took diving lessons for 2 years but eventually decided he didn't want to pursue it any longer).  For the last couple years he has told everyone that he wants to be a pastor, but most recently he's changed his occupation to "astro-pastor."  This is, apparently, an astronaut who is also a pastor--a title he came up with on his own.  Let's just say that it's a good thing that he's going into advanced 7th grade math if he aspires to greatness as an astronaut.  He also is very involved at church, serving wherever he can and being mentored in children's ministry.  God has blessed us with this wonderful child who is growing into a young man more rapidly every day.  He's by no means perfect and we're doing our best to keep him humble, but he is a wonderful son, nonetheless.

His biggest challenges in childhood have centered around keeping teeth in his mouth.  He knocked out his two front teeth right after he turned five when he got a new bike for his birthday, and he was front toothless for three years.  Here's a pic of the day he lost those teeth.

I was so glad he had been to the dentist before this occasion because it was not a pleasant experience.  He had actually broken off one tooth and fractured the other one so they had to be removed at the dentist.  I spent much of the time in another room with my head between my knees.  If you know me well, you will know that this is not surprising for me.  Jac handled it like a champ and the dentist gave him Cardinals tickets for a game that night.  Lindy was also traumatized and went out to buy him a new glove prior to going to the game.  Here's a pic of Jac with his new glove that same day.

He proceeded to knock out another tooth later on while riding a neighbor's electric scooter.  He came in the house screaming with blood pouring down his chin, holding the tooth.  Lindy shoved it right back up in the socket where it stayed for about a year until Jac knocked the same tooth out again--I think playing with a rope at his grandparents' house.  While Lindy was shoving the tooth back in the socket, where was I?  Well, lying on the couch, of course, trying not to pass out.  He also knocked out another tooth at church when he and Ethan were goofing off and he ended up knocking his teeth against a tile countertop and knocking one of them out.  I think I remained upright during that incident, but it has led me to have the need to immediately inquire about a child's teeth or ask to see their teeth any time any child comes to me crying.  If we are friends and I have ignored your child's skinned knee or goose egg on the forehead to first inspect his or her teeth, I apologize.  It's just second nature to me to ask about the teeth.  Jac will be getting braces soon--for the second time--and we have promised him that eventually he will have a perfect smile.  Adding to this challenge is the fact that he's missing some permanent teeth, which is the one and only negative thing that he inherited from me.  (I threw that in for Lindy because he always gives me a hard time about that).

In spite of Jac's dental challenges, we're going to keep him.  :)  I love that Jac is close to his family and adores all of his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.  When he was about four years old he thought the closest relative you could have was a cousin and there was a particular girl who he asked if she could be his cousin.  He thought that would be the best way to make sure they stayed close.  I can't believe my sweet, sensitive, intelligent, compassionate, generous, open-hearted, competitive, polite, almost-as-tall-as-me boy is turning 12.  I'm very proud him and his brothers.  Speaking of the dentist--and we go to a different one now--not too long ago I was at her office with all three boys.  After they had gone back for their check-ups one of the front office ladies came out to talk to me.  I looked up from my book and wondered, "Oh no, what have they done, and then immediately, what's wrong with their teeth?"  But, instead, she had come out to compliment me on my boys.  I had lagged behind Jac and Ethan coming into the office as I was getting Gav out of the car and collecting all of our stuff.  The lady told me that the two older boys came into the office, stated their names, said they had an appointment, made eye contact, answered any questions asked, and sat down to wait for me.  She said that coming across boys who are so polite and well-spoken is unusual nowadays.  I told her thank you and explained that their father is a pastor and they are well accustomed to being around adults and that's exactly how we expect for them to behave.  I was really touched that she thought so highly of them to tell their mother how well-behaved they were.  I was proud to be their mother and realized that maybe they are actually listening to us once in a while.  Like I said, they aren't perfect; but we have hope that we are instilling in them the manners and values that one day will serve them well.

Jac may read this post so I just have to throw in for him one more time before it's too late that he is my favorite 11-year-old boy until he turns 12 and then he'll be my favorite 12-year-old boy.  He was just my favorite boy until Ethan came along and I had to think of a way to tell them they were each my favorite in some way.  So, they fully expect me for me to tell them frequently that they are my favorite ____-year-old boy.

Love you, Jac.  Your Dad and I are proud of you and we will always love you no matter what.  We don't expect perfection, we just expect your best effort.  More than anything, we pray you will stay close to Jesus and keep the tender heart you have always possessed.  Great things are in store for you and we can't wait to see all the miracles God works in your life.