He Didn't Even Wave Once

Yesterday was the first day of school for a lot of area school kids.  I really felt for all my friends who are sending kindergarteners off for the first time.  It can be traumatic--mainly for the parents.  I sent one of mine off to middle school for the first time and another one off to 3rd grade.  Jac has been riding the bus from home since the end of 1st grade when I was at home with Gavin on maternity leave.  I can still see his little 1st grade legs running off to catch the bus and his big toothless grin--he was missing his front teeth for 3 years due to an untimely bike accident.

One thing that every walk to the bus stop always included was stopping to wave at his Mom or Dad.  One of us was always there to watch him round the corner to where the bus would pick him up.  Right away he developed a habit of waving from three pre-determined (by him) spots.  This wasn't surprising to us about Jac because he is kind of regimented like that.  He's a Bornert after all.  It became comical to us and on the mornings when both Lindy and I happened to see him off to school we would laugh together at Jac's predictable nature of when and where he would wave.  On cold mornings he would remind me to stick my arm out the door and wave so he could see me.  (Sorry, I'm not that Mom who walks my kids to the bus stop or actually stands on the front steps when it's cold outside.  If it's really that cold I'm just going to drive them to school).

Between 1st grade and 5th grade he gradually dropped two of his pre-determined waving spots but he never let go of the last one--the one where he was getting ready to be out of our sight and off to whatever adventure school held for him that day.  He always waved...without fail...he never once missed waving.  Get my point, here?  I even had Lindy take a picture of Jac and Ethan on the very last day they would go to school together until they are in 12th and 9th grade.  Here it is:

Yesterday morning after I prayed for my oldest child who now catches the bus at 6:53 a.m., I kissed him and hugged him and sent him out the door.  I stood out on the front porch and watched my baby walk away to go to middle school.  I watched and waited.  He passed the first previously pre-determined spot. No wave.  I thought, "Well, that's not unexpected because he gave up that spot a while ago.  I watched and waited again.  Nothing at the second spot.  I continued to watch and wait.  He rounded the corner and I lifted my hand knowing he was going to turn around and wave at his Mom like he has every time since March 17, 2006 when I first sent him off on the bus.  No wave.  Nothing.  He just continued to walk away, right out of my sight.  Right then and there, a little piece of my heart went walking around that corner with him.

When Lindy got home from his morning walk a little while later I said, "He didn't even wave once."  He immediately knew what I was talking about and I could see in his eyes that he felt the same as me.  Our little boy is not so little anymore.

This morning when I saw him off to school--now that he has to leave so early I get to do that every day--I told him that I was crushed when he didn't wave yesterday morning.  He said, "I didn't?" and he sounded surprised.  I think the surprise he managed to work into his voice was just for his pitiful Mom.

Today...he waved.