The title of this blog post isn't original to me. I actually stole it from Anita Renfroe. If you've never heard of Anita Renfroe then you'll just have to "google" her to learn more about her. She's hilarious. Anyway, once again, for I guess the 6th?? year in a row Lindy let me preach on a Sunday morning. That's right, the not your average pastor's wife was actually allowed to speak to everyone again on Mother's Day. The title of my message was the title of this blog post and you'll have to listen to it or watch it to get it.
I've had several people ask me where to access the audio or video of my Mother's Day message so rather than continuing to send out texts or individual emails I thought I would just post the info on here and then link it to Facebook.
If you want to watch it--that's right, Restoration Church entered the 21st century quite a while ago--you can go to our ustream site. You can find it at our ustream channel
If you would prefer to listen to it then you can simply go to http://www.myrestorationchurch.org/ and click on the Podcast link at the right. Select the sermon you want and listen away. (Jac and I listened to it on my iPhone on our recent road trip. I used a lot of "Jac" illustrations so he was excited to hear it since he was working in Kids' Church that morning).
Lastly, if you were actually present at church that morning and heard my opening about the various "Lindys" then I must apologize for missing one of the best ones--"Game Lindy." Our worship pastor, Russell, brought it to my attention immediately. Game Lindy is very competitive and I learned early on--even before we got married--that I had better get thicker skin or always play on his team. Jose came up with a new Lindy known as Indy Lindy. Indy Lindy gets where he's going quickly and is a nicer version of Traffic Lindy.
That's all I'll share for now. If you want the rest of the story then watch or listen.
Summer 2012
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
My Journey to Israel and Jordan--A Trip of a Lifetime...Or Was It
When I told friends and family that I was planning to go to Israel I heard many times, "Wow! That will be a trip of a lifetime." At first I agreed with them, but even before I left to travel overseas my feeling about the whole "trip of a lifetime" thing changed. Once I had actually been in the Middle East for a couple days I realized that the reason my feelings changed was that I knew that this would NOT be a trip of a lifetime for me. Instead, I am hopeful that this will only mark my FIRST trip to Israel and Jordan. It was a wonderful, life-changing, expensive trip but I was only there a few days before I realized that every dollar spent would be well worth it. For all we experienced including the wonderful hotels we stayed in, the food we ate, the awe-inspiring sights we took in, the organization and leadership of the trip; it was a worthwhile investment of our money.
When Lindy traveled to Israel and Jordan four years ago I wasn't so hip to the idea at first. In fact I think I told him he was out of his mind for even considering it. Security was my primary concern, but I got to see firsthand that Israel is probably the safest place to travel in the world. And guess what!! They don't even make you succumb to the ridiculous task of taking off your shoes in the airport. More on that later. But, just know for now, that if security and safety are concerns for you in traveling to Israel..don't be; concerned, that is.
Lindy and I were part of a group of 24 people who traveled together. Six of us were from our church, six were from another church in St. Louis, ten were from Tulsa, and two from Arizona. I have to say first off, and I said it several times while on the trip, that one of my favorite parts of the whole trip was getting to know this group of people. We were with this group of people for 16 days from sun up to sun down. We ate our meals with them, traveled on a bus with them for hours and hours, walked miles and miles with them; and I loved every minute of it. I thoroughly enjoy getting to know new people and talking about their lives so this complete traveling entrenchment in each others' lives for this brief period in time was a delight to me. It was interesting that we had two nurses, one nurse practitioner, one pharmacist, and one retired eye surgeon on the trip. (I'm counting myself as one of the nurses for those of you who don't think of me as a real nurse).
One couple, Richard and Shirley, have traveled all over the world. Richard told us that this trip marked the 65th country that he has visited. Wow!! He retired from the national park system and he had wonderful pieces of information to share with us. For all you St. Louisans, you'll be interested to know that when he worked in St. Louis and was in charge of the formerly known "VP Fair" they learned that if they covered all the mirrors in the women's restrooms it eliminated the lines. Hilarious and ingenious. His wife, Shirley, is an amazing cancer survivor and I really enjoyed the time spent with her hearing about all of her volunteer work. Richard is a serious bird watcher and spent the month of February in Ethiopia watching birds. Wow!! That's serious.
One of the couples from Tulsa were Tony and Denise. Sometimes...oftentimes...when I'm learning people's names I will make up a nickname for them so that I can learn their names. Tony became "Tony Long Lens" to me because of his camera with the enormous zoom lens that he carried everywhere we went. Literally, I don't think I saw Tony Long Lens without his camera, except at dinner. Long about the last day I asked him if I could feel how heavy it was and the thing had to weigh all of 10 pounds or more. I'm thankful he carried it though because he took some amazing pictures. I did recommend a chiropractic adjustment for him upon his return home. His wife, Denise, works at the QuikTrip corporate office and has for 25 years. She was on a mandatory four-week sabbatical that is required for all employees after 25 years. That is seriously cool and I hope she is enjoying her last two weeks of sabbatical.
Tony's Dad, Al, and his wife, Stephanie, were also on the trip. Al is retired from the QuikTrip corporation. I really enjoyed seeing Al and Stephanie holding hands and being so loving with each other throughout the trip. It was their second trip to Israel and I enjoyed hearing about their previous trip. Denise and Stephanie served as the free Wifi scouts which was much appreciated by the rest of us.
Dick and Diane were a couple from Tulsa as well. Dick is a retired eye surgeon and Lindy had great fun quizzing him endlessly at dinner one night. Dick is a quiet guy but has a great sense of humor and was also lending a helping hand to the ladies. Diane was a woman after my own heart as she would get this little gleam in her eye anytime the word "shopping" was mentioned. One afternoon when part of the group was shopping in the Old City of Jerusalem it was told to me that Diane would see something she wanted and say, "Dick, five dollars!" "Dick, five dollars!" He dutifully forked over the cash and she had a great time shopping for souvenirs. I loved her.
David and Pam were also from Tulsa and were not new to overseas travel. I would LOVE to go on the three-week trip to Aruba that they took. They have traveled a lot and more than once I told Lindy that I want us to be like them when we retire--jetting all over the world. Pam also had serious fashion sense and I think I complimented her every day on her outfits.
Nancy and Leann left their husbands behind in Tulsa and had a great time with the group. Turns out Nancy is a good friend of one of my nursing classmates at ORU. It was so nice to hear about Jenny and have a connection with Nancy on the other side of the world. Leann was truly one of the kindest people I have ever met. She was always thanking someone for something and she had such a calm and soothing presence about her. Those two were quite a pair and I gathered along the way that they must have promised their husbands that they wouldn't let the other out of their sight because they were never far from each other.
Cho and Theo were two ladies from St. Louis who go to church together, work out at the Y together, and generally are wonderful friends and fun people to be around. Cho left her husband at home and Theo is widowed so the two of them roomed together and gave all of us a lot of laughs. Theo proudly told us that she was the oldest person on the trip and you honestly never would have known it. I attribute it to her good Greek genes and her time spent consistently at the Y. She didn't just keep up with us, she could have led the pack without a problem. Cho was a delight to be around and it was really exciting when we ran into groups from Korea because she is a Korean-American. Cho will also be traveling to Korea later this year.
Sue was the brave lady who stayed by herself in a room but this was the only solitude she got. :) We traveled like a pack of wolves together. It was fun to talk to Sue as she is an oncology nurse practitioner and has worked for the same employer for 24 years. Amazing!! Sue just has a calming presence about her and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know her and spending time with her.
Herb is a pharmacist and has worked for his employer for 15 years. Herb has a lot of spiritual insight and it was interesting hearing about his upbringing in the far reaches of Missouri where they still have party lines in operation. Herb had a touch of heat exhaustion one day but after hours of sleep he was raring to go the next day.
Roberto, Teresa, Sue, and Shirley are from our church so we already knew them fairly well but it was nice to get to spend time with them and get acquainted with them on a deeper level. Sue had some problems with her foot and didn't get to go out with us each day, but we were thankful for the times she did get to see all of the sights. She always had a positive outlook though.
Roberto and Teresa could always be found together, except when we thought we had lost Roberto in the market area in Jerusalem. He was just having a good old time shopping, but I'm sure Teresa was already trying to form the words she would use when she talked to Susie and Mickie. "Well, your father was at this open-air market in Jerusalem on the afternoon of the Sabbath where it was shoulder-to shoulder people and...." Fortunately, Roberto materialized with souvenirs in hand.
Shirley was an absolute riot on this trip and I know it wouldn't have been the same for me without her. She kept up with us and shared a lot of memories from her last trip to Israel with her dearly departed husband, Everett. More on Shirley later.
John and Connie were the leaders of our trip. This was John's 32nd trip to Israel and I believe it was Connie's 12th trip. Let me just say that I was so impressed with the planning of this trip and how each day was organized. I know it had much to do with John's experience and his planning of this trip. I'm sure much of it also had to do with Connie's input as well. The eventual plan is for Lindy to start leading trips to Israel so I was so grateful to see such a well-planned, organized trip. That doesn't happen by accident. I also got to see Connie's role in the trip and I asked a lot of questions. No big surprise there. Lindy and I left a day earlier than the rest of the group so that Lindy wouldn't miss a third Sunday at church and I wore it as a badge of honor when John told me that I was a "good traveler." Now that may not seem like a big deal to you, but when it's coming from a man who's lead 32 trips I'm going to accept the compliment like it's a big deal. Trust me. There are pastors' wives who I would not want to try to lead across the street, much less around the world. We can be a challenging bunch, but that's a blog post for another day. Connie said I was a "lot of fun." I was proud of that too. I try to bring the fun wherever I go so I enjoyed hearing that. John made the entire trip look effortless, and I know it wasn't, but I look forward to trying to emulate the success they have had in leading trips.
Now that you know a little about the people I was traveling with, and I hope they enjoy reading little tidbits about themselves, I'll share with you about the trip...in my next post. Once I started writing I realized I had too much to say for one post. Check back for Part 2.
When Lindy traveled to Israel and Jordan four years ago I wasn't so hip to the idea at first. In fact I think I told him he was out of his mind for even considering it. Security was my primary concern, but I got to see firsthand that Israel is probably the safest place to travel in the world. And guess what!! They don't even make you succumb to the ridiculous task of taking off your shoes in the airport. More on that later. But, just know for now, that if security and safety are concerns for you in traveling to Israel..don't be; concerned, that is.
Lindy and I were part of a group of 24 people who traveled together. Six of us were from our church, six were from another church in St. Louis, ten were from Tulsa, and two from Arizona. I have to say first off, and I said it several times while on the trip, that one of my favorite parts of the whole trip was getting to know this group of people. We were with this group of people for 16 days from sun up to sun down. We ate our meals with them, traveled on a bus with them for hours and hours, walked miles and miles with them; and I loved every minute of it. I thoroughly enjoy getting to know new people and talking about their lives so this complete traveling entrenchment in each others' lives for this brief period in time was a delight to me. It was interesting that we had two nurses, one nurse practitioner, one pharmacist, and one retired eye surgeon on the trip. (I'm counting myself as one of the nurses for those of you who don't think of me as a real nurse).
One couple, Richard and Shirley, have traveled all over the world. Richard told us that this trip marked the 65th country that he has visited. Wow!! He retired from the national park system and he had wonderful pieces of information to share with us. For all you St. Louisans, you'll be interested to know that when he worked in St. Louis and was in charge of the formerly known "VP Fair" they learned that if they covered all the mirrors in the women's restrooms it eliminated the lines. Hilarious and ingenious. His wife, Shirley, is an amazing cancer survivor and I really enjoyed the time spent with her hearing about all of her volunteer work. Richard is a serious bird watcher and spent the month of February in Ethiopia watching birds. Wow!! That's serious.
One of the couples from Tulsa were Tony and Denise. Sometimes...oftentimes...when I'm learning people's names I will make up a nickname for them so that I can learn their names. Tony became "Tony Long Lens" to me because of his camera with the enormous zoom lens that he carried everywhere we went. Literally, I don't think I saw Tony Long Lens without his camera, except at dinner. Long about the last day I asked him if I could feel how heavy it was and the thing had to weigh all of 10 pounds or more. I'm thankful he carried it though because he took some amazing pictures. I did recommend a chiropractic adjustment for him upon his return home. His wife, Denise, works at the QuikTrip corporate office and has for 25 years. She was on a mandatory four-week sabbatical that is required for all employees after 25 years. That is seriously cool and I hope she is enjoying her last two weeks of sabbatical.
Tony's Dad, Al, and his wife, Stephanie, were also on the trip. Al is retired from the QuikTrip corporation. I really enjoyed seeing Al and Stephanie holding hands and being so loving with each other throughout the trip. It was their second trip to Israel and I enjoyed hearing about their previous trip. Denise and Stephanie served as the free Wifi scouts which was much appreciated by the rest of us.
Dick and Diane were a couple from Tulsa as well. Dick is a retired eye surgeon and Lindy had great fun quizzing him endlessly at dinner one night. Dick is a quiet guy but has a great sense of humor and was also lending a helping hand to the ladies. Diane was a woman after my own heart as she would get this little gleam in her eye anytime the word "shopping" was mentioned. One afternoon when part of the group was shopping in the Old City of Jerusalem it was told to me that Diane would see something she wanted and say, "Dick, five dollars!" "Dick, five dollars!" He dutifully forked over the cash and she had a great time shopping for souvenirs. I loved her.
David and Pam were also from Tulsa and were not new to overseas travel. I would LOVE to go on the three-week trip to Aruba that they took. They have traveled a lot and more than once I told Lindy that I want us to be like them when we retire--jetting all over the world. Pam also had serious fashion sense and I think I complimented her every day on her outfits.
Nancy and Leann left their husbands behind in Tulsa and had a great time with the group. Turns out Nancy is a good friend of one of my nursing classmates at ORU. It was so nice to hear about Jenny and have a connection with Nancy on the other side of the world. Leann was truly one of the kindest people I have ever met. She was always thanking someone for something and she had such a calm and soothing presence about her. Those two were quite a pair and I gathered along the way that they must have promised their husbands that they wouldn't let the other out of their sight because they were never far from each other.
Cho and Theo were two ladies from St. Louis who go to church together, work out at the Y together, and generally are wonderful friends and fun people to be around. Cho left her husband at home and Theo is widowed so the two of them roomed together and gave all of us a lot of laughs. Theo proudly told us that she was the oldest person on the trip and you honestly never would have known it. I attribute it to her good Greek genes and her time spent consistently at the Y. She didn't just keep up with us, she could have led the pack without a problem. Cho was a delight to be around and it was really exciting when we ran into groups from Korea because she is a Korean-American. Cho will also be traveling to Korea later this year.
Sue was the brave lady who stayed by herself in a room but this was the only solitude she got. :) We traveled like a pack of wolves together. It was fun to talk to Sue as she is an oncology nurse practitioner and has worked for the same employer for 24 years. Amazing!! Sue just has a calming presence about her and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know her and spending time with her.
Herb is a pharmacist and has worked for his employer for 15 years. Herb has a lot of spiritual insight and it was interesting hearing about his upbringing in the far reaches of Missouri where they still have party lines in operation. Herb had a touch of heat exhaustion one day but after hours of sleep he was raring to go the next day.
Roberto, Teresa, Sue, and Shirley are from our church so we already knew them fairly well but it was nice to get to spend time with them and get acquainted with them on a deeper level. Sue had some problems with her foot and didn't get to go out with us each day, but we were thankful for the times she did get to see all of the sights. She always had a positive outlook though.
Roberto and Teresa could always be found together, except when we thought we had lost Roberto in the market area in Jerusalem. He was just having a good old time shopping, but I'm sure Teresa was already trying to form the words she would use when she talked to Susie and Mickie. "Well, your father was at this open-air market in Jerusalem on the afternoon of the Sabbath where it was shoulder-to shoulder people and...." Fortunately, Roberto materialized with souvenirs in hand.
Shirley was an absolute riot on this trip and I know it wouldn't have been the same for me without her. She kept up with us and shared a lot of memories from her last trip to Israel with her dearly departed husband, Everett. More on Shirley later.
John and Connie were the leaders of our trip. This was John's 32nd trip to Israel and I believe it was Connie's 12th trip. Let me just say that I was so impressed with the planning of this trip and how each day was organized. I know it had much to do with John's experience and his planning of this trip. I'm sure much of it also had to do with Connie's input as well. The eventual plan is for Lindy to start leading trips to Israel so I was so grateful to see such a well-planned, organized trip. That doesn't happen by accident. I also got to see Connie's role in the trip and I asked a lot of questions. No big surprise there. Lindy and I left a day earlier than the rest of the group so that Lindy wouldn't miss a third Sunday at church and I wore it as a badge of honor when John told me that I was a "good traveler." Now that may not seem like a big deal to you, but when it's coming from a man who's lead 32 trips I'm going to accept the compliment like it's a big deal. Trust me. There are pastors' wives who I would not want to try to lead across the street, much less around the world. We can be a challenging bunch, but that's a blog post for another day. Connie said I was a "lot of fun." I was proud of that too. I try to bring the fun wherever I go so I enjoyed hearing that. John made the entire trip look effortless, and I know it wasn't, but I look forward to trying to emulate the success they have had in leading trips.
Now that you know a little about the people I was traveling with, and I hope they enjoy reading little tidbits about themselves, I'll share with you about the trip...in my next post. Once I started writing I realized I had too much to say for one post. Check back for Part 2.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Random Reflections Related to Reader Requests--Round 2
So, to understand the title of this post you'll have to go back and read my last post. Then it will make sense. My old boss, Randy--and he is old--told me I should write about how I got into hospice. Actually his exact words were that I should tell about "the awesome man who helped launch my hospice career." So, here you go Randy. This one is for you.
Before I tell about the awesome guy who helped launch my hospice career I should give a little back story. I have to take you back to when I was in college getting my nursing degree though. A friend and I were on our way to clinicals (for you non-medical people, that's the part where they actually let us touch the patients and learn on them) and we were talking about what areas of nursing we wanted to pursue. I was set on being either in the OR or in Labor and Delivery because "that's where the action was." Those were the words I would always say. I recall telling my friend Andrea that there were three things I wouldn't do when I was a nurse and they went like this: "I will never work with anyone who has cancer, old people, or anyone who is dying." Talk about eating your words and God giving me the what for later on. This conversation must have taken place before my pediatrics rotation, my day spent at dialysis, or my time on the burn unit; because I added those to my list of things I would not do before I graduated. What it really boiled down to with those three areas was that I learned quickly that I could not stand seeing anyone in pain, especially if I was expected to inflict more pain on them. So, inserting an 18 gauge--read a big, honking needle--into someone's arm or taking care of kids in pain or performing all the treatments required for burn patients was not my cup of tea. I was terrified of needles for that reason and had to give my very first injection to my nursing instructor in another room because the other students wouldn't let me near them. It was the bright, shining start to a brilliant nursing career!! Oh, add to that list psych nursing. I found out I couldn't do that either after.... OK, maybe I won't tell that story.
I graduated with my BSN and set about studying for my boards. I started interviewing for positions and realized right away that my dreams of working in OR or L&D might not come to fruition. I graduated in a time of a nursing surplus and the job I was offered had six nurses competing for it. Where was it? Oncology/Neurology. That's right, my friend. I was going to work with cancer patients and old people--some of whom were dying. Fortunately, I worked in the hospital back in the time when nurses were pampered, at least at this hospital. I didn't have to place IVs--we had an IV team. I didn't have to change dressings--we had a wound care department. I didn't have to take care of male catheters--it was a Catholic hospital and female nurses were not allowed to touch male catheters. I know!! We were pampered. I did have to give my own IM injections and do my own finger sticks for the diabetics. I literally had to give myself a pep talk every morning to go stick those poor patients' fingers. I'm a total sissy. I would actually smile to myself if none of my assigned patients for that day were diabetics. Sometimes I would trade out these unsavory tasks with another nurse and I would place her Foley catheter. I was really good at that. It seems really crazy that I would rather place a Foley than stick someone with a needle, but I had issues. Issues, I tell you!!
I worked in Tulsa in inpatient oncology until Lindy and I got engaged and I moved to St. Louis. He was a youth pastor so I really wanted to be off on weekends with him and set about looking for a job that would allow that. Since I was already familiar with taking care of cancer patients, old people, and people who were sometimes dying; it seemed that the transition to hospice wouldn't be too difficult. I had friends who made the same transition after working in oncology. Since I didn't want to do shift work in the hospital I didn't pursue too vigorously any positions in the OR or L&D. We were still in a nursing surplus so jobs still weren't so readily available. I found an ad in the paper (this was back before the internet was in full operation) for a PRN (as needed) position in hospice. I went to interview with a lovely, wonderful woman named Mindy. Her particular office didn't have an open position but she said that the smaller office where her husband was the supervisor had an open position. She said she would give him a call and ask him to call me for an interview.
OK, Randy, here's the part where you come in. He called me to interview and it was right before Thanksgiving 1995. (He won't remember that). The part I haven't mentioned yet was that I lived in St. Charles and his office was in Washington. It was a 43 mile drive to the office and the position I was interviewing for would mean that I would also travel all day in my car and the closest patient was in Washington. I arrived at the office and met Randy. There were two other men there; Ken and Mike. Mike was the Administrator in the office and Ken was the Executive Director of the hospice company. The three of them decided that since they were all there they would just all interview me together. I don't remember all the questions they asked but I remember talking about pain management and what I knew from working in oncology. Randy showed me the map of their territory which didn't mean a lot to me because I had just moved to the St. Louis area three weeks before. What I did realize was that I was going to be tooling around in a rural area. (Ask me today and I can probably get you around on the back roads between New Haven and Cuba and Gerald and Leslie and New Florence and Hermann and.... I knew all of that before I ever knew how to get around in the St. Louis metro area). Now I'm getting ahead of myself. Well, the interview ended and we all stood up, they offered me the job, and asked me how soon I could start. I told them I could start right away after Thanksgiving, but then asked them if they thought I should fill out an application first. Ha!!! That's hilarious to me now after spending the last 15 years in management. I can't imagine bringing a nurse in for an interview and offering her the job before the application and the references and the drug test and the criminal background check and the EDL and the OIG and the.... You get the picture.
So, I started the job as a PRN nurse which meant that I would only work when they needed me, but they ended up needing me 40 hours/week from the first week so I wasn't PRN very long. I was thankful for that because I really needed a full-time job. Over the next several months I got to know Randy and realized that he was a really nice guy. He always treated me well and was a very caring person. Mike didn't last very long and his employment ended and he moved away. I didn't see Ken very often. He had just happened to be there that day. He also eventually left the company but I don't remember if it was before or after I left. I did eventually leave, but it was because of Randy. It was all his fault!!! He accepted a job with a company in the St. Louis area called Home Health Plus. It was a company that did rehabilitative home care and private duty and they had hired him to start up a new hospice program. When he left, he told me he would call me when he got it up and running and needed a nursing supervisor. I kind of thought, "OK. Whatever. I'm 23 years old. Why on earth would he hire me to be a supervisor?" But, about four months later he called and said, "OK. I'm ready for you. When can you come to work here?" It was a bit of a leap of faith for me--following Randy, that is--since it was a brand new program but the attractive part for me was going to be the I won't be driving all over creation anymore part. You see, navigating the back roads of rural Missouri had put 36,000 miles on my little Nissan Sentra in ten months. I was ready to drive a little less, but it would mean not having as much opportunity to do patient care anymore.
I took the plunge and started at Home Health Plus on September 16, 1996. I so enjoyed the fact that the office was only 11 miles from my house. Lindy and I have moved three times since then, even to Illinois for three years, and I just drive to work from a different home. We've lived in our house now for nearly ten years and I drive 22 miles to work.
We had 15 patients on that, my first day, as a supervisor. (Randy won't remember that either. The company I came from had only reached a max of around 20 patients in that location so this census wasn't so foreign to me). The 15 patients were between our St. Louis office which had ten patients and our Fairview Heights, IL office which had a whopping five patients. It was pretty small and Randy and I were almost the whole operation. We had one staff member that was solely ours. Her name was "Kitten" and she was the chaplain, bereavement coordinator, and volunteer coordinator all rolled into one. Our nurses, nurse aides, social workers, and team coordinator were all borrowed from home care and didn't have a lot of hospice knowledge. Since there were so few of them I guess they didn't mind too much having a supervisor who had just turned 24. I never had any issues with not being respected, at least I don't think I did. I was challenged on occasion but you can't be in any supervisory/management position and not be challenged by your employees. That's just life. So, Randy and I were a good team. He stayed in the office or went out and did marketing and I did all of the hospice admissions and other tasks in this newly created position. My position wasn't only new in that office but new to the company as they had just started branching out in that area. The home care and private duty divisions ran like well-oiled machines. They were big and bad and managed very well. Randy and I were truly the red-headed stepchildren--him more than me because he has red hair, or used to. It might have turned all gray by now since he's gotten so old. I remember asking the home care supervisor that I shared an office with if she thought I was doing everything I should. She kind of whispered to me, "No. There's a lot of stuff you guys aren't doing." She didn't ever elaborate. One of my favorite memories of Randy doing something really sweet, but exasperating at the same time, was on Valentine's Day 1997. I was out in the field doing three admissions that day (yeah, my current staff, you read that right) and Randy sent me a page and told me that there was a state surveyor in the office and I had better get back there quick. I drove to the office as quickly as I could and there was Randy in the lobby with this huge grin on his face. Lindy had sent me roses and Randy just wanted me to come back so that I could see them. It was such a sweet gesture, yet I wanted to punch him at the same time as having a surveyor show up in your office is NEVER a recipe for a fun time.
We had a general manager at that time named Ann (she was over the whole shebang); and she was very supportive of hospice. She really had an affinity for Randy, not in that way, and she would give him these little yellow coupons for "Free Half Days." I'm not sure if she kept giving them to him or if he just copied them but he took a lot of "Coupon Days" so he could work on fixing up his house. What was that all about, Randy, and why did I never get any "Coupon Days?" I held down the fort while Randy was gone and eight months after I started there Randy resigned. That's right, folks, he left me again. He accepted another start-up hospice position in a neighboring state and he started traveling back and forth. I've figured out over the years, as I've followed Randy a little bit and the path his career has taken, that he has to be challenged or he gets bored. I wouldn't dare to count the number of positions Randy has worked in and the vast experience he has gained while I've been plugging away at the same office.
So, back to the story. Randy left me and at that time we had grown to an amazing 20 patients!! We had a new boss and she interviewed me for Randy's old position. This was in June of 1997. In spite of the fact that I was 24 years old, I had the most hospice experience, and she and her boss must have decided that I couldn't possibly mess it up too bad since we only had 20 hospice patients. (I've learned since then that they were wrong if that was really their reasoning. One person really can completely destroy an operation, even one that small). We all laughed in the interview because I wasn't even yet old enough to rent my own car if I had to travel. I told them that my ten-year goal was to be at home with my then non-existent children. That didn't quite work out, but my current boss, Carrie, use to ask me how many more years she had me for because she knew about that.
I was promoted to Hospice Division Manager--that was the title at that time--and it has changed several times over the years. While I continue in the same position for a company that has since changed ownership, sort of, and has changed names; my title has changed many times. Currently, it's Director of Professional Services, and I think they are set on that for now. My duties have certainly changed over the years. We've grown from 15 patients back in those early days to an average daily census of around 375 patients in four offices instead of two. (We've opened the other two offices in the last five years). One of them is in Washington so it's like deja vu when I visit that office. We've grown to the point over the years where I don't really have any responsibilities in the other offices. For years I split my time between our St. Louis and Fairview Heights offices. My location just keeps getting smaller as we open more offices and hand off more patients to them so that we can expand the number of patients and families we reach. The private duty division closed about eight years ago and the home care division closed last year. We are hospice only and no longer the red-headed stepchild. We are a force to be reckoned with and it's because of our amazing staff.
I've been privileged to work with the same boss now for more than 13 years and a number of other staff who have stayed for ten years or longer. We are truly a family and everyone I work with is very dear to me. They are my "patients" and I love taking care of them as I really don't come very close to actual patients anymore. The joke a few years ago was if I was at your bedside then you had truly scraped the bottom of the barrel when it comes to nurses. You have to get through several layers of nurses before you find me smiling down at you. I don't have many cool stories anymore like I had when I was a "real nurse" as my kids have referred to me. The best one is my "coughed up lung" story and it always wins against every other story, hands down. Don't even try to challenge me.
But, this story isn't complete without explaining why I'm so grateful to that "awesome man who helped launch my hospice career." First of all, I've always referred to it as an "accidental career" because I never set out in nursing to be in management; yet I know that nothing in our lives is ever an accident with God when we entrust our lives to Him and let Him be in control of every major decision. I truly just wanted to take care of patients, but God saw things differently for me. I sometimes refer to my year spent as drum major in high school as being the "head band geek." I guess you could say that now, in Missouri, I am the "hospice nerd in waiting" as this accidental career has led me to the place where I am now the Vice-President/President-Elect of the Missouri Hospice and Palliative Care Association. I guess if you're going to set out to be somebody in hospice, that's one of the things you might set your sights on. I didn't set my sights on it, but I've just been looking for ways to serve and, honestly, for a little variety after working at the same place for so many years. I'm also a Past President of the Greater St. Louis Hospice Organization. Yet another hospice nerd position.
None of this would have been possible without Randy. He probably doesn't fully realize this, but God used him in my life to direct the path I was to go down. Like I said in the beginning, this is not really what I wanted to do but God's plans are bigger than ours and He really does want to give us the desires of our hearts. We just have to keep our end of the bargain by delighting ourselves in Him. I hope I keep up my end of the bargain, and I hope that in the brief time I was able to work with Randy that I made a difference in his life. He made a big difference in mine. Randy, if this post made you laugh or cry or get veclemped, then I've done my job. You'll always hold a special place in my heart and I'll always pray God's best for you. Thanks for all you did for that young, bright-eyed girl who was just looking for a job to pay the bills. You changed my life.
Before I tell about the awesome guy who helped launch my hospice career I should give a little back story. I have to take you back to when I was in college getting my nursing degree though. A friend and I were on our way to clinicals (for you non-medical people, that's the part where they actually let us touch the patients and learn on them) and we were talking about what areas of nursing we wanted to pursue. I was set on being either in the OR or in Labor and Delivery because "that's where the action was." Those were the words I would always say. I recall telling my friend Andrea that there were three things I wouldn't do when I was a nurse and they went like this: "I will never work with anyone who has cancer, old people, or anyone who is dying." Talk about eating your words and God giving me the what for later on. This conversation must have taken place before my pediatrics rotation, my day spent at dialysis, or my time on the burn unit; because I added those to my list of things I would not do before I graduated. What it really boiled down to with those three areas was that I learned quickly that I could not stand seeing anyone in pain, especially if I was expected to inflict more pain on them. So, inserting an 18 gauge--read a big, honking needle--into someone's arm or taking care of kids in pain or performing all the treatments required for burn patients was not my cup of tea. I was terrified of needles for that reason and had to give my very first injection to my nursing instructor in another room because the other students wouldn't let me near them. It was the bright, shining start to a brilliant nursing career!! Oh, add to that list psych nursing. I found out I couldn't do that either after.... OK, maybe I won't tell that story.
I graduated with my BSN and set about studying for my boards. I started interviewing for positions and realized right away that my dreams of working in OR or L&D might not come to fruition. I graduated in a time of a nursing surplus and the job I was offered had six nurses competing for it. Where was it? Oncology/Neurology. That's right, my friend. I was going to work with cancer patients and old people--some of whom were dying. Fortunately, I worked in the hospital back in the time when nurses were pampered, at least at this hospital. I didn't have to place IVs--we had an IV team. I didn't have to change dressings--we had a wound care department. I didn't have to take care of male catheters--it was a Catholic hospital and female nurses were not allowed to touch male catheters. I know!! We were pampered. I did have to give my own IM injections and do my own finger sticks for the diabetics. I literally had to give myself a pep talk every morning to go stick those poor patients' fingers. I'm a total sissy. I would actually smile to myself if none of my assigned patients for that day were diabetics. Sometimes I would trade out these unsavory tasks with another nurse and I would place her Foley catheter. I was really good at that. It seems really crazy that I would rather place a Foley than stick someone with a needle, but I had issues. Issues, I tell you!!
I worked in Tulsa in inpatient oncology until Lindy and I got engaged and I moved to St. Louis. He was a youth pastor so I really wanted to be off on weekends with him and set about looking for a job that would allow that. Since I was already familiar with taking care of cancer patients, old people, and people who were sometimes dying; it seemed that the transition to hospice wouldn't be too difficult. I had friends who made the same transition after working in oncology. Since I didn't want to do shift work in the hospital I didn't pursue too vigorously any positions in the OR or L&D. We were still in a nursing surplus so jobs still weren't so readily available. I found an ad in the paper (this was back before the internet was in full operation) for a PRN (as needed) position in hospice. I went to interview with a lovely, wonderful woman named Mindy. Her particular office didn't have an open position but she said that the smaller office where her husband was the supervisor had an open position. She said she would give him a call and ask him to call me for an interview.
OK, Randy, here's the part where you come in. He called me to interview and it was right before Thanksgiving 1995. (He won't remember that). The part I haven't mentioned yet was that I lived in St. Charles and his office was in Washington. It was a 43 mile drive to the office and the position I was interviewing for would mean that I would also travel all day in my car and the closest patient was in Washington. I arrived at the office and met Randy. There were two other men there; Ken and Mike. Mike was the Administrator in the office and Ken was the Executive Director of the hospice company. The three of them decided that since they were all there they would just all interview me together. I don't remember all the questions they asked but I remember talking about pain management and what I knew from working in oncology. Randy showed me the map of their territory which didn't mean a lot to me because I had just moved to the St. Louis area three weeks before. What I did realize was that I was going to be tooling around in a rural area. (Ask me today and I can probably get you around on the back roads between New Haven and Cuba and Gerald and Leslie and New Florence and Hermann and.... I knew all of that before I ever knew how to get around in the St. Louis metro area). Now I'm getting ahead of myself. Well, the interview ended and we all stood up, they offered me the job, and asked me how soon I could start. I told them I could start right away after Thanksgiving, but then asked them if they thought I should fill out an application first. Ha!!! That's hilarious to me now after spending the last 15 years in management. I can't imagine bringing a nurse in for an interview and offering her the job before the application and the references and the drug test and the criminal background check and the EDL and the OIG and the.... You get the picture.
So, I started the job as a PRN nurse which meant that I would only work when they needed me, but they ended up needing me 40 hours/week from the first week so I wasn't PRN very long. I was thankful for that because I really needed a full-time job. Over the next several months I got to know Randy and realized that he was a really nice guy. He always treated me well and was a very caring person. Mike didn't last very long and his employment ended and he moved away. I didn't see Ken very often. He had just happened to be there that day. He also eventually left the company but I don't remember if it was before or after I left. I did eventually leave, but it was because of Randy. It was all his fault!!! He accepted a job with a company in the St. Louis area called Home Health Plus. It was a company that did rehabilitative home care and private duty and they had hired him to start up a new hospice program. When he left, he told me he would call me when he got it up and running and needed a nursing supervisor. I kind of thought, "OK. Whatever. I'm 23 years old. Why on earth would he hire me to be a supervisor?" But, about four months later he called and said, "OK. I'm ready for you. When can you come to work here?" It was a bit of a leap of faith for me--following Randy, that is--since it was a brand new program but the attractive part for me was going to be the I won't be driving all over creation anymore part. You see, navigating the back roads of rural Missouri had put 36,000 miles on my little Nissan Sentra in ten months. I was ready to drive a little less, but it would mean not having as much opportunity to do patient care anymore.
I took the plunge and started at Home Health Plus on September 16, 1996. I so enjoyed the fact that the office was only 11 miles from my house. Lindy and I have moved three times since then, even to Illinois for three years, and I just drive to work from a different home. We've lived in our house now for nearly ten years and I drive 22 miles to work.
We had 15 patients on that, my first day, as a supervisor. (Randy won't remember that either. The company I came from had only reached a max of around 20 patients in that location so this census wasn't so foreign to me). The 15 patients were between our St. Louis office which had ten patients and our Fairview Heights, IL office which had a whopping five patients. It was pretty small and Randy and I were almost the whole operation. We had one staff member that was solely ours. Her name was "Kitten" and she was the chaplain, bereavement coordinator, and volunteer coordinator all rolled into one. Our nurses, nurse aides, social workers, and team coordinator were all borrowed from home care and didn't have a lot of hospice knowledge. Since there were so few of them I guess they didn't mind too much having a supervisor who had just turned 24. I never had any issues with not being respected, at least I don't think I did. I was challenged on occasion but you can't be in any supervisory/management position and not be challenged by your employees. That's just life. So, Randy and I were a good team. He stayed in the office or went out and did marketing and I did all of the hospice admissions and other tasks in this newly created position. My position wasn't only new in that office but new to the company as they had just started branching out in that area. The home care and private duty divisions ran like well-oiled machines. They were big and bad and managed very well. Randy and I were truly the red-headed stepchildren--him more than me because he has red hair, or used to. It might have turned all gray by now since he's gotten so old. I remember asking the home care supervisor that I shared an office with if she thought I was doing everything I should. She kind of whispered to me, "No. There's a lot of stuff you guys aren't doing." She didn't ever elaborate. One of my favorite memories of Randy doing something really sweet, but exasperating at the same time, was on Valentine's Day 1997. I was out in the field doing three admissions that day (yeah, my current staff, you read that right) and Randy sent me a page and told me that there was a state surveyor in the office and I had better get back there quick. I drove to the office as quickly as I could and there was Randy in the lobby with this huge grin on his face. Lindy had sent me roses and Randy just wanted me to come back so that I could see them. It was such a sweet gesture, yet I wanted to punch him at the same time as having a surveyor show up in your office is NEVER a recipe for a fun time.
We had a general manager at that time named Ann (she was over the whole shebang); and she was very supportive of hospice. She really had an affinity for Randy, not in that way, and she would give him these little yellow coupons for "Free Half Days." I'm not sure if she kept giving them to him or if he just copied them but he took a lot of "Coupon Days" so he could work on fixing up his house. What was that all about, Randy, and why did I never get any "Coupon Days?" I held down the fort while Randy was gone and eight months after I started there Randy resigned. That's right, folks, he left me again. He accepted another start-up hospice position in a neighboring state and he started traveling back and forth. I've figured out over the years, as I've followed Randy a little bit and the path his career has taken, that he has to be challenged or he gets bored. I wouldn't dare to count the number of positions Randy has worked in and the vast experience he has gained while I've been plugging away at the same office.
So, back to the story. Randy left me and at that time we had grown to an amazing 20 patients!! We had a new boss and she interviewed me for Randy's old position. This was in June of 1997. In spite of the fact that I was 24 years old, I had the most hospice experience, and she and her boss must have decided that I couldn't possibly mess it up too bad since we only had 20 hospice patients. (I've learned since then that they were wrong if that was really their reasoning. One person really can completely destroy an operation, even one that small). We all laughed in the interview because I wasn't even yet old enough to rent my own car if I had to travel. I told them that my ten-year goal was to be at home with my then non-existent children. That didn't quite work out, but my current boss, Carrie, use to ask me how many more years she had me for because she knew about that.
I was promoted to Hospice Division Manager--that was the title at that time--and it has changed several times over the years. While I continue in the same position for a company that has since changed ownership, sort of, and has changed names; my title has changed many times. Currently, it's Director of Professional Services, and I think they are set on that for now. My duties have certainly changed over the years. We've grown from 15 patients back in those early days to an average daily census of around 375 patients in four offices instead of two. (We've opened the other two offices in the last five years). One of them is in Washington so it's like deja vu when I visit that office. We've grown to the point over the years where I don't really have any responsibilities in the other offices. For years I split my time between our St. Louis and Fairview Heights offices. My location just keeps getting smaller as we open more offices and hand off more patients to them so that we can expand the number of patients and families we reach. The private duty division closed about eight years ago and the home care division closed last year. We are hospice only and no longer the red-headed stepchild. We are a force to be reckoned with and it's because of our amazing staff.
I've been privileged to work with the same boss now for more than 13 years and a number of other staff who have stayed for ten years or longer. We are truly a family and everyone I work with is very dear to me. They are my "patients" and I love taking care of them as I really don't come very close to actual patients anymore. The joke a few years ago was if I was at your bedside then you had truly scraped the bottom of the barrel when it comes to nurses. You have to get through several layers of nurses before you find me smiling down at you. I don't have many cool stories anymore like I had when I was a "real nurse" as my kids have referred to me. The best one is my "coughed up lung" story and it always wins against every other story, hands down. Don't even try to challenge me.
But, this story isn't complete without explaining why I'm so grateful to that "awesome man who helped launch my hospice career." First of all, I've always referred to it as an "accidental career" because I never set out in nursing to be in management; yet I know that nothing in our lives is ever an accident with God when we entrust our lives to Him and let Him be in control of every major decision. I truly just wanted to take care of patients, but God saw things differently for me. I sometimes refer to my year spent as drum major in high school as being the "head band geek." I guess you could say that now, in Missouri, I am the "hospice nerd in waiting" as this accidental career has led me to the place where I am now the Vice-President/President-Elect of the Missouri Hospice and Palliative Care Association. I guess if you're going to set out to be somebody in hospice, that's one of the things you might set your sights on. I didn't set my sights on it, but I've just been looking for ways to serve and, honestly, for a little variety after working at the same place for so many years. I'm also a Past President of the Greater St. Louis Hospice Organization. Yet another hospice nerd position.
None of this would have been possible without Randy. He probably doesn't fully realize this, but God used him in my life to direct the path I was to go down. Like I said in the beginning, this is not really what I wanted to do but God's plans are bigger than ours and He really does want to give us the desires of our hearts. We just have to keep our end of the bargain by delighting ourselves in Him. I hope I keep up my end of the bargain, and I hope that in the brief time I was able to work with Randy that I made a difference in his life. He made a big difference in mine. Randy, if this post made you laugh or cry or get veclemped, then I've done my job. You'll always hold a special place in my heart and I'll always pray God's best for you. Thanks for all you did for that young, bright-eyed girl who was just looking for a job to pay the bills. You changed my life.
Random Reflections Related to Reader Requests
(I started this blog post about three weeks ago so "last night" is last night about three weeks ago. Sorry).
Last night on Facebook I posted that I am speaking at a Women's Symposium this Saturday and my topic is my blog. I've been feeling the pressure to publish a blog post but have been running short on time to get something out. This month has been unbelievably crazy busy--more so than usual--and time has been more of a challenge than topic. I did ask for some suggestions from my Facebook friends on topics and got a few back. So, I am up to my own stated challenge of being "able to make anything funny" and I'm trying to do so during the 5:00 hour--a.m. not p.m.--which I think is an hour in which I should not even be vertical, much less productive.
My cousin, Lana, suggested that I write about summers in Pollock, Louisiana, and swimming in the creek. Where is Pollock, you ask? Well, it's real close to Dry Prong, silly, and it's in Grant Parish. Didn't you know that? (If you're a Missourian or from another state, and you aren't familiar with Louisiana Lingo, they call their counties "parishes." They would probably say that we call our parishes "counties.") This area is close to Alexandria, LA which is a decent sized city and might give you a better point of reference. So, why were Lana and I in Pollock in the summertime? Well, our Uncle Jim (our Moms' brother--Lana's Mom and my Mom are sisters) and his family lived there for many years. They had a beautiful piece of property out in the country with horses and lots of room to run around. My Dad traveled a lot for his job during that time and every summer he would plan a trip to Louisiana so that he could drop my brother and me off down there for about a month. We spent part of our summers with Uncle Jim and Aunt Willie and part with our grandparents in New Iberia. Somehow Aunt Willie got roped into being the one to transport us from one place to the other. If I remember things correctly, I was a young girl after all, she had to take my Uncle Jim to Lafayette one week so that he could fly out to work on the Shell Oil rig and then she would drive back down a week later to pick him up and bring him home. I think it was about a 2 1/2 hour trip, one way, and she did that every week. She also had three kids at home and a husband who worked 7 days on and 7 days off. I can't imagine that sort of lifestyle but that was the way of life for them and is for so many who work on oil rigs. I love my Uncle Jim and my Aunt Willie very much and appreciate how they put up with all the cousins running around. Lana would also be part of the mix in Pollock and then we had my brother and our cousins; Paige, John, and Ellen; who are the ones who actually lived there in Pollock.
Lana mentioned swimming in the creek. Honesty, if you know me pretty well, you probably don't view me as the creek-swimming kind of girl; but this was the middle of nowhere and there weren't really any "swimming pools and movie stars." We swam in a creek. I don't remember if it was clean or dirty. I imagine it was pretty clean or Aunt Willie wouldn't have taken us there. We also spent A LOT of time at the baseball field because John played Little League. Those were great memories and I'm sure that's when my love of baseball began. I don't care for a lot of sports but I do love baseball, especially Cardinals ball, and I know those summers contributed a lot to my tolerance of the game. I remember going to see "Footloose"--the original one, you whippersnapper readers--in the theatre. I don't know if we were really supposed to go see it but we did and we loved it.
Speaking of movies, Ellen and I were spending time at our grandparents' house one summer and Lana was working in a movie theatre. "Top Gun" was the big movie that summer and she got us in to see it. We watched it...more than once...and so began my love for Tom Cruise in his PNBD--(Pre-Nut Bag Days). I also remember going to see "Cocktail" one summer with Ellen and Lana. I believe I was 15 that summer and Lana was old enough to drive us. Ellen was only 13. Three years later when I met a boy that a lot of people said resembled Tom Cruise I guess it doesn't come as a surprise that I fell in love with him at first sight.
I learned to play a card game that we called "21" during those summers. I was a full-grown adult before I realized that the game is actually Black Jack.
Our grandmother, Mau Mau, had a thing about making sure that she always gave to Ellen and me equally since we were pretty much joined at the hip when I visited in the summer. At least a couple times I celebrated my birthday in Louisiana and Ellen usually got the same gifts that I got. Don't begrudge her that because her birthday is in December and that can be unfortunate when your birthday falls around Christmas. We had Coca-Cola nightgowns (mine was red and hers was navy) and matching swimsuits nearly every year. One year we talked her in to taking us to the water slide nearly every day. Also, Mau Mau would not allow us to watch "The Newlywed Game"--the original one. (Boy, am I old). When I've seen bits and pieces of episodes as an adult I can totally understand why she didn't want her young granddaughters watching that show. But, we would try to get away with it. We would lie on the twin beds in her bedroom and watch it at low volume and hold the remote to change the channel if we heard her coming. She was smart, though, and sometimes she would sneak up on us and catch us watching it. I think she actually enjoyed the challenge. Ellen and I really didn't even understand what the questions and answers on the show meant, so I guess we just liked trying to get away with something that was forbidden. Good thing we've matured since then. I think that's the worst thing we tried to get away with.
I remember Lana learning to drive, yikes, and Aunt Elaine going out to buy us boudin to eat for breakfast. (If you've never had the pleasure of tasting boudin, I feel for you. Honestly, you can't really find it north of Baton Rouge, LA. It's not really a breakfast type of food but we would eat it night or day). During those teenage years Duran Duran was a really big deal. Lana had a huge crush on Simon LeBon. She had a huge poster of him in her room, but since she felt like he was watching her when she changed clothes, she started changing in her bathroom. Sorry, Lana. You might not want to make a blog request next time. :)
I remember learning to ride a mini-bike and driving it through Pa Pa's pea patch. He kept yelling at me as I was driving and I kept saying,"What??" I didn't know what a pea patch was and I drove right through it. All of us cousins had war wounds from riding that thing--burns, abrasions, bruises.... I think I was on it with Lana when she drove it up a tree. Crazy!!! Let's just say that control of the machine was not our forte.
I miss those days and I miss getting to see my cousins on a semi-regular basis. I'll keep the stories limited to those above so as not to further embarrass them. Hope you enjoyed the trip down memory lane, cousins. And, for the second cousins that might read it, you can get a little glimpse in to the previous generation of cousins.
Randy Smith, your Reader Request is coming next....
Last night on Facebook I posted that I am speaking at a Women's Symposium this Saturday and my topic is my blog. I've been feeling the pressure to publish a blog post but have been running short on time to get something out. This month has been unbelievably crazy busy--more so than usual--and time has been more of a challenge than topic. I did ask for some suggestions from my Facebook friends on topics and got a few back. So, I am up to my own stated challenge of being "able to make anything funny" and I'm trying to do so during the 5:00 hour--a.m. not p.m.--which I think is an hour in which I should not even be vertical, much less productive.
My cousin, Lana, suggested that I write about summers in Pollock, Louisiana, and swimming in the creek. Where is Pollock, you ask? Well, it's real close to Dry Prong, silly, and it's in Grant Parish. Didn't you know that? (If you're a Missourian or from another state, and you aren't familiar with Louisiana Lingo, they call their counties "parishes." They would probably say that we call our parishes "counties.") This area is close to Alexandria, LA which is a decent sized city and might give you a better point of reference. So, why were Lana and I in Pollock in the summertime? Well, our Uncle Jim (our Moms' brother--Lana's Mom and my Mom are sisters) and his family lived there for many years. They had a beautiful piece of property out in the country with horses and lots of room to run around. My Dad traveled a lot for his job during that time and every summer he would plan a trip to Louisiana so that he could drop my brother and me off down there for about a month. We spent part of our summers with Uncle Jim and Aunt Willie and part with our grandparents in New Iberia. Somehow Aunt Willie got roped into being the one to transport us from one place to the other. If I remember things correctly, I was a young girl after all, she had to take my Uncle Jim to Lafayette one week so that he could fly out to work on the Shell Oil rig and then she would drive back down a week later to pick him up and bring him home. I think it was about a 2 1/2 hour trip, one way, and she did that every week. She also had three kids at home and a husband who worked 7 days on and 7 days off. I can't imagine that sort of lifestyle but that was the way of life for them and is for so many who work on oil rigs. I love my Uncle Jim and my Aunt Willie very much and appreciate how they put up with all the cousins running around. Lana would also be part of the mix in Pollock and then we had my brother and our cousins; Paige, John, and Ellen; who are the ones who actually lived there in Pollock.
Lana mentioned swimming in the creek. Honesty, if you know me pretty well, you probably don't view me as the creek-swimming kind of girl; but this was the middle of nowhere and there weren't really any "swimming pools and movie stars." We swam in a creek. I don't remember if it was clean or dirty. I imagine it was pretty clean or Aunt Willie wouldn't have taken us there. We also spent A LOT of time at the baseball field because John played Little League. Those were great memories and I'm sure that's when my love of baseball began. I don't care for a lot of sports but I do love baseball, especially Cardinals ball, and I know those summers contributed a lot to my tolerance of the game. I remember going to see "Footloose"--the original one, you whippersnapper readers--in the theatre. I don't know if we were really supposed to go see it but we did and we loved it.
Speaking of movies, Ellen and I were spending time at our grandparents' house one summer and Lana was working in a movie theatre. "Top Gun" was the big movie that summer and she got us in to see it. We watched it...more than once...and so began my love for Tom Cruise in his PNBD--(Pre-Nut Bag Days). I also remember going to see "Cocktail" one summer with Ellen and Lana. I believe I was 15 that summer and Lana was old enough to drive us. Ellen was only 13. Three years later when I met a boy that a lot of people said resembled Tom Cruise I guess it doesn't come as a surprise that I fell in love with him at first sight.
I learned to play a card game that we called "21" during those summers. I was a full-grown adult before I realized that the game is actually Black Jack.
Our grandmother, Mau Mau, had a thing about making sure that she always gave to Ellen and me equally since we were pretty much joined at the hip when I visited in the summer. At least a couple times I celebrated my birthday in Louisiana and Ellen usually got the same gifts that I got. Don't begrudge her that because her birthday is in December and that can be unfortunate when your birthday falls around Christmas. We had Coca-Cola nightgowns (mine was red and hers was navy) and matching swimsuits nearly every year. One year we talked her in to taking us to the water slide nearly every day. Also, Mau Mau would not allow us to watch "The Newlywed Game"--the original one. (Boy, am I old). When I've seen bits and pieces of episodes as an adult I can totally understand why she didn't want her young granddaughters watching that show. But, we would try to get away with it. We would lie on the twin beds in her bedroom and watch it at low volume and hold the remote to change the channel if we heard her coming. She was smart, though, and sometimes she would sneak up on us and catch us watching it. I think she actually enjoyed the challenge. Ellen and I really didn't even understand what the questions and answers on the show meant, so I guess we just liked trying to get away with something that was forbidden. Good thing we've matured since then. I think that's the worst thing we tried to get away with.
I remember Lana learning to drive, yikes, and Aunt Elaine going out to buy us boudin to eat for breakfast. (If you've never had the pleasure of tasting boudin, I feel for you. Honestly, you can't really find it north of Baton Rouge, LA. It's not really a breakfast type of food but we would eat it night or day). During those teenage years Duran Duran was a really big deal. Lana had a huge crush on Simon LeBon. She had a huge poster of him in her room, but since she felt like he was watching her when she changed clothes, she started changing in her bathroom. Sorry, Lana. You might not want to make a blog request next time. :)
I remember learning to ride a mini-bike and driving it through Pa Pa's pea patch. He kept yelling at me as I was driving and I kept saying,"What??" I didn't know what a pea patch was and I drove right through it. All of us cousins had war wounds from riding that thing--burns, abrasions, bruises.... I think I was on it with Lana when she drove it up a tree. Crazy!!! Let's just say that control of the machine was not our forte.
I miss those days and I miss getting to see my cousins on a semi-regular basis. I'll keep the stories limited to those above so as not to further embarrass them. Hope you enjoyed the trip down memory lane, cousins. And, for the second cousins that might read it, you can get a little glimpse in to the previous generation of cousins.
Randy Smith, your Reader Request is coming next....
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Perspective--Part 2
As I mentioned in "Perspective--Part 1" this is such a huge topic that I assumed it would take me more than one post to even begin to cover it. I was right. Part 1 really ended up being just an intro. I'm not even sure if I fully explained my purpose for using the "Sailor Kissing a Nurse" photo of the statue replication of the original photo. You do know that's the real name of the original photograph, right? The subject of the statue, while I think it's oh so cool, is not really part of my point. My point in using this pic with little me standing with my elbow on her foot was to demonstrate the perspective of how awesome and enormous this statue is in real life. From a distance, when you're driving toward the intersection where it stands, it looks big; but it's enormity is not appreciated until you actually get out of your car and walk up to it. It's huge, and it's really cool. Did I say that already? Your perspective changes as you get closer to it. Kind of like our perspective of how big God really is changes as we get closer to Him. Now I'm getting ahead of myself.
Our perspective in life can be affected by a variety of things--our past, our relationships, our right or wrong assumptions about everything going on around us...the list goes on and on. My earliest memory of what it means to have perspective takes me back to Algebra I in 8th grade. I did horrible in that class. I did great the next two years in Geometry and Algebra II, but Algebra I was not a great experience. I was not accustomed to getting anything less than a B and I barely passed this class. However, I think it was one of the greatest life lessons for me at such a young age. I remember at the age of 13 telling myself that in the picture of my life a bad grade in Algebra I in 8th grade was going to be so small. It would have no affect on my life as a whole and I really needed to not get so stressed out over it. Thirteen-year-old me was right and I'm glad I listened to her. Learning perspective at that age has been invaluable to me over the years. Jac has had the same opportunity this year in 7th grade Pre-Algebra. Like mother, like son.
I don't remember where I've heard this before, but you've probably heard of it too. A woman sees another person with a frown on her face and says to her, "Smile. Nothing can be that bad." We are sense-making individuals and when we see someone with a sour expression we can make assumptions about what he or she might be going through. We have no idea about the details of their lives and assume that it must be something trivial and a trite comment will make it all better. I kind of like to do the opposite just to exercise my compassion a little bit. If I see someone in a sour mood I like to imagine all of the different things it could be, i.e. just got a speeding ticket (wouldn't be so far-fetched for me), didn't get their full order in the drive through, tried to use a coupon that they didn't know had expired, just got laid off from their job, has an abusive husband, has a child with a life-threatening illness, just lost a loved one in a car accident, was just given a terminal diagnosis.... Do you see how the list of what someone might be going through can go from the slightly annoying to the tragic? We encounter people every day from all ends of this spectrum. When we look at someone and make assumptions about them based on their expression or demeanor we are doing them a true disservice. We see their anger and don't view it as the mask it is for their underlying fear. We see their arrogance and don't recognize that it's just a cover-up for their insecurities. We look at others every day and make judgments about them based on our own perspective from our own life experience. We need to exercise compassion and a little latitude once in a while. We don't always know the pain those around us are going through.
Having a healthy perspective in life regarding our own problems is a good thing. It allows us to not take ourselves so seriously. It seems there is always someone worse off than whatever you or I are going through. I look back to my miscarriage last spring and at the time it was difficult to permit myself to grieve because I had such guilt for even allowing myself an ounce of grief when I have three healthy children already. I had to come to the understanding that while others' devastation in this area is so much greater than mine I still experienced a loss, nonetheless. It just needed to be put in its proper perspective.
I've learned a lot about perspective by reading a little devotional book that my dear friend, Debbie, gave me. It's different than any other devotional I've read in that it's a book that is about women of great faith and the struggles they encountered in their lives. Talk about putting your own life in perspective and making you feel like you're just whining about nothing. Take for example Dorothy Carey. She was a missionary who lived from 1755-1807. Here's an excerpt from Jewell Johnson's book, "Daily Devotions for Women." "She initially refused to accompany her husband to India in 1793. She had recently lost a 2-year-old, she was three weeks away from delivering a child, and she had three older sons to raise. William wanted to at least take the Careys' oldest son with him. But when the ship's departure was delayed, Dorothy had a change of heart; she agreed to accompany her husband provided her sister also go with the party. Missionary work for the Careys in India is difficult to imagine. Compared to England's climate, the heat was oppressive. Poisonous snakes and fierce animals were a constant threat. Sadly Dorothy watched her husband labor for seven years before making a convert. But perhaps the hardest trial was when another son died and the Careys were forced to bury him themselves with only the remaining children at their side." Wow!! Imagine that kind of life. Incomprehensible sacrifices. The Scripture for that day is Psalm 56: 2-3: "Mine enemies would daily swallow me up: for they be many that fight against me, O thou most high. What time I am afraid I will trust in Thee." The Scripture for the day was about trusting in God and that's a great verse to go along with Dorothy Carey's story because she had to put her whole trust in God during her life. But, for me, her story gave me perspective on my own problems. I believe God gives more grace when it is needed. His Word says that His grace is sufficient for us. That means that when we put our trust in Him, regardless of our circumstances, He will give us the measure of grace that we need to be victorious in spite of what we're going through out and how we feel about it.
At the end of "Perspective--Part 1" I wrote, "I think we let ourselves stress over things that really shouldn't be stressors in our lives. It's all about perspective, how we choose to frame our circumstances and our attitude regarding our circumstances." I think this sentence really encapsulates the true meaning of having perspective. Sometimes we need to "get over ourselves," learn to trust God and choose an attitude that is pleasing to Him. If we learn to trust Him we can find His peace even in the midst of the storm. When we choose to grow closer to Him, just like driving closer to that statue and then walking up to it, He just gets bigger and bigger and our problems get smaller and smaller. He desires for you to lean on Him. In doing so, He will put your life in proper perspective as He shows you how great His love is for you. Try it. You won't be sorry.
Love and a healthy perspective to all.
Our perspective in life can be affected by a variety of things--our past, our relationships, our right or wrong assumptions about everything going on around us...the list goes on and on. My earliest memory of what it means to have perspective takes me back to Algebra I in 8th grade. I did horrible in that class. I did great the next two years in Geometry and Algebra II, but Algebra I was not a great experience. I was not accustomed to getting anything less than a B and I barely passed this class. However, I think it was one of the greatest life lessons for me at such a young age. I remember at the age of 13 telling myself that in the picture of my life a bad grade in Algebra I in 8th grade was going to be so small. It would have no affect on my life as a whole and I really needed to not get so stressed out over it. Thirteen-year-old me was right and I'm glad I listened to her. Learning perspective at that age has been invaluable to me over the years. Jac has had the same opportunity this year in 7th grade Pre-Algebra. Like mother, like son.
I don't remember where I've heard this before, but you've probably heard of it too. A woman sees another person with a frown on her face and says to her, "Smile. Nothing can be that bad." We are sense-making individuals and when we see someone with a sour expression we can make assumptions about what he or she might be going through. We have no idea about the details of their lives and assume that it must be something trivial and a trite comment will make it all better. I kind of like to do the opposite just to exercise my compassion a little bit. If I see someone in a sour mood I like to imagine all of the different things it could be, i.e. just got a speeding ticket (wouldn't be so far-fetched for me), didn't get their full order in the drive through, tried to use a coupon that they didn't know had expired, just got laid off from their job, has an abusive husband, has a child with a life-threatening illness, just lost a loved one in a car accident, was just given a terminal diagnosis.... Do you see how the list of what someone might be going through can go from the slightly annoying to the tragic? We encounter people every day from all ends of this spectrum. When we look at someone and make assumptions about them based on their expression or demeanor we are doing them a true disservice. We see their anger and don't view it as the mask it is for their underlying fear. We see their arrogance and don't recognize that it's just a cover-up for their insecurities. We look at others every day and make judgments about them based on our own perspective from our own life experience. We need to exercise compassion and a little latitude once in a while. We don't always know the pain those around us are going through.
Having a healthy perspective in life regarding our own problems is a good thing. It allows us to not take ourselves so seriously. It seems there is always someone worse off than whatever you or I are going through. I look back to my miscarriage last spring and at the time it was difficult to permit myself to grieve because I had such guilt for even allowing myself an ounce of grief when I have three healthy children already. I had to come to the understanding that while others' devastation in this area is so much greater than mine I still experienced a loss, nonetheless. It just needed to be put in its proper perspective.
I've learned a lot about perspective by reading a little devotional book that my dear friend, Debbie, gave me. It's different than any other devotional I've read in that it's a book that is about women of great faith and the struggles they encountered in their lives. Talk about putting your own life in perspective and making you feel like you're just whining about nothing. Take for example Dorothy Carey. She was a missionary who lived from 1755-1807. Here's an excerpt from Jewell Johnson's book, "Daily Devotions for Women." "She initially refused to accompany her husband to India in 1793. She had recently lost a 2-year-old, she was three weeks away from delivering a child, and she had three older sons to raise. William wanted to at least take the Careys' oldest son with him. But when the ship's departure was delayed, Dorothy had a change of heart; she agreed to accompany her husband provided her sister also go with the party. Missionary work for the Careys in India is difficult to imagine. Compared to England's climate, the heat was oppressive. Poisonous snakes and fierce animals were a constant threat. Sadly Dorothy watched her husband labor for seven years before making a convert. But perhaps the hardest trial was when another son died and the Careys were forced to bury him themselves with only the remaining children at their side." Wow!! Imagine that kind of life. Incomprehensible sacrifices. The Scripture for that day is Psalm 56: 2-3: "Mine enemies would daily swallow me up: for they be many that fight against me, O thou most high. What time I am afraid I will trust in Thee." The Scripture for the day was about trusting in God and that's a great verse to go along with Dorothy Carey's story because she had to put her whole trust in God during her life. But, for me, her story gave me perspective on my own problems. I believe God gives more grace when it is needed. His Word says that His grace is sufficient for us. That means that when we put our trust in Him, regardless of our circumstances, He will give us the measure of grace that we need to be victorious in spite of what we're going through out and how we feel about it.
At the end of "Perspective--Part 1" I wrote, "I think we let ourselves stress over things that really shouldn't be stressors in our lives. It's all about perspective, how we choose to frame our circumstances and our attitude regarding our circumstances." I think this sentence really encapsulates the true meaning of having perspective. Sometimes we need to "get over ourselves," learn to trust God and choose an attitude that is pleasing to Him. If we learn to trust Him we can find His peace even in the midst of the storm. When we choose to grow closer to Him, just like driving closer to that statue and then walking up to it, He just gets bigger and bigger and our problems get smaller and smaller. He desires for you to lean on Him. In doing so, He will put your life in proper perspective as He shows you how great His love is for you. Try it. You won't be sorry.
Love and a healthy perspective to all.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Vermont Fashion...Where Is It??
Whenever I travel I like to identify what the fashion trend is for the locals in the area. Not too difficult, just be observant and take note of what most people seem to be wearing. Here are some examples. When I was on vacation in Charleston, SC a few years ago I realized that to be fashionable I would need an assortment of strapless halter dresses. I don't think I saw any woman under the age of 50 who wasn't sporting one. A couple years ago Lindy and I went to Miami, FL for a weekend conference and I discovered that skinny jeans are required attire there. Young, old, male, female...it matters not. If you want to "fit in" in Miami then you better "fit in" to skinny jeans. I'm not a big fan of skinny jeans so I don't think I would have fared well there. In Chicago you have to tuck your jeans or pants into tall boots. It doesn't matter what color the boots are or if you are wearing jeans or pants, you just better tuck them in. Jenn was in high style as she brought her cute riding boots and did the tuck in. She looked like a local.
Now, in Vermont, I've discovered a commonality and if you're from Vermont you might not appreciate it too much. I apologize for that ahead of time. I'm not trying to offend anyone, and I don't personally know anyone from Vermont, so I'm just making an observation. People in Vermont are very plain looking. By "plain looking" I mean that there is nothing flashy about Vermonters--as far as I have seen. No makeup, no highlights, not much thought put into clothing. They are very "granola" or "natural," I guess you could say. This, of course, is the exact opposite of me. I told Lindy that if I lived here I would be known as "the pretty one.". He said that, really, people would take one look at me and say, "She's not from around here.". As a disclaimer I should let you know that we are in rural Vermont and the landscape is beautiful...the people, not so much.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and they probably think me odd with my lipstick and mascara and colorful scarves and what have you. I am definitely in the minority here.
That's all for now.
Now, in Vermont, I've discovered a commonality and if you're from Vermont you might not appreciate it too much. I apologize for that ahead of time. I'm not trying to offend anyone, and I don't personally know anyone from Vermont, so I'm just making an observation. People in Vermont are very plain looking. By "plain looking" I mean that there is nothing flashy about Vermonters--as far as I have seen. No makeup, no highlights, not much thought put into clothing. They are very "granola" or "natural," I guess you could say. This, of course, is the exact opposite of me. I told Lindy that if I lived here I would be known as "the pretty one.". He said that, really, people would take one look at me and say, "She's not from around here.". As a disclaimer I should let you know that we are in rural Vermont and the landscape is beautiful...the people, not so much.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and they probably think me odd with my lipstick and mascara and colorful scarves and what have you. I am definitely in the minority here.
That's all for now.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Perspective--Part 1
Perspective. Part 1. When you read that title you were probably thinking that "Part 1" means there is probably going to eventually be a "Part 2" or 3 or 4 or.... Well, I think you'll be right even though I don't have any thoughts swirling for a Part 2. The idea of having perspective is just such a big concept to me and something that I really dwell on a lot that I think my little brain probably has more than one blog post in there on this subject. I tried to go back through my blog and look to see if I ever posted anything about perspective, but I'm so blogger naive that I wasn't able to figure out how to do that. So, I guess if I don't even remember blogging about this before then hopefully you don't either.
Yesterday I posted a picture on Facebook and said that I was contemplating a new blog post and didn't think anyone would guess what it was going to be about. Guess what!! No one got it right. I really didn't think anyone would even try to guess but right away there were comments firing in. Here's the picture I posted:
Here are the guesses from my friends: "Sanctity," "shoes," "your parents," "love conquering the will over to complete trust," the bygone days of uniforms and WHITE SHOES," "something to do with nursing," "World War II," "love," "trips to Flora," "spontaneous kisses."
I love it!! One little picture and a lot of different perspectives on it. I didn't have the forethought that I would use the comments I received on that picture to illustrate my point. I was only thinking of the picture itself to illustrate my point. But, since my friends are so creative and generous with their comments then I couldn't leave them out. What does this picture have to do with perspective, you ask? Well, first of all if you've been alive for 20 years or more then you've probably seen the photograph of this image from the end of World War II. You might not have seen the enormous, awe-inspiring statue replication that is located in Sarasota, Florida. So, if you were thinking, "I've seen that image before but I don't remember grass being in it" then you probably also didn't notice the person standing with her elbow propped on the nurse's heel. Look a little closer.
See her now? Yep, that's me in my fabulous summertime maxi dress. I love that dress and I am missing getting to wear it along with my other summer clothes. Anyway, I'm digressing on the dress. Summer fashion is not what this post is all about. Perspective is what it's all about.
The idea of perspective is something that I contemplate quite a bit. I think I have a healthy dose of it due to working in hospice for all these years. My problems can seem really petty when they are held up against a young mother my age trying to find the words to say to her children who will grow up with her as a fading memory. Hearing about others coping with loss--loss of independence, loss of relationships due to advancing disease or dementia, loss of function, loss of...--is something I encounter every day. My appreciation for these families and the hospice staff who cares for them grows with each passing year.
I was talking with one of my co-workers recently and we were chatting, as we often do, about our latest plan to lose that elusive last 10 pounds. Gia and I have worked together for more than 10 years. It was after Christmas and I think the conversation had something to do with cookies. We talked about the battle of wanting to lose those last pounds but also wanting to eat cookies. I said something like, "Gia, do you think a patient our age who is faced with losing everything would wish she had denied herself the cookies and lost those last ten pounds? No. She would say that life is too short. Eat the cookies!!". Now I'm not an advocate for gluttony but I think we do let ourselves stress over things that really shouldn't be stressors in our lives. It's all about perspective, how we choose to frame our circumstances and our attitude regarding our circumstances.
Well, I guess Part 1 is really more of an intro than a Part 1. I have a whole lot more to say on this subject but it's been a while since I last posted so I want to get this one out there to get your juices flowing on this subject. Take a step back and think about the importance you place on various circumstances in your life. Are they really worthy of your stress and frustration over them?
More later.
Love to all.
Yesterday I posted a picture on Facebook and said that I was contemplating a new blog post and didn't think anyone would guess what it was going to be about. Guess what!! No one got it right. I really didn't think anyone would even try to guess but right away there were comments firing in. Here's the picture I posted:
Here are the guesses from my friends: "Sanctity," "shoes," "your parents," "love conquering the will over to complete trust," the bygone days of uniforms and WHITE SHOES," "something to do with nursing," "World War II," "love," "trips to Flora," "spontaneous kisses."
I love it!! One little picture and a lot of different perspectives on it. I didn't have the forethought that I would use the comments I received on that picture to illustrate my point. I was only thinking of the picture itself to illustrate my point. But, since my friends are so creative and generous with their comments then I couldn't leave them out. What does this picture have to do with perspective, you ask? Well, first of all if you've been alive for 20 years or more then you've probably seen the photograph of this image from the end of World War II. You might not have seen the enormous, awe-inspiring statue replication that is located in Sarasota, Florida. So, if you were thinking, "I've seen that image before but I don't remember grass being in it" then you probably also didn't notice the person standing with her elbow propped on the nurse's heel. Look a little closer.
See her now? Yep, that's me in my fabulous summertime maxi dress. I love that dress and I am missing getting to wear it along with my other summer clothes. Anyway, I'm digressing on the dress. Summer fashion is not what this post is all about. Perspective is what it's all about.
The idea of perspective is something that I contemplate quite a bit. I think I have a healthy dose of it due to working in hospice for all these years. My problems can seem really petty when they are held up against a young mother my age trying to find the words to say to her children who will grow up with her as a fading memory. Hearing about others coping with loss--loss of independence, loss of relationships due to advancing disease or dementia, loss of function, loss of...--is something I encounter every day. My appreciation for these families and the hospice staff who cares for them grows with each passing year.
I was talking with one of my co-workers recently and we were chatting, as we often do, about our latest plan to lose that elusive last 10 pounds. Gia and I have worked together for more than 10 years. It was after Christmas and I think the conversation had something to do with cookies. We talked about the battle of wanting to lose those last pounds but also wanting to eat cookies. I said something like, "Gia, do you think a patient our age who is faced with losing everything would wish she had denied herself the cookies and lost those last ten pounds? No. She would say that life is too short. Eat the cookies!!". Now I'm not an advocate for gluttony but I think we do let ourselves stress over things that really shouldn't be stressors in our lives. It's all about perspective, how we choose to frame our circumstances and our attitude regarding our circumstances.
Well, I guess Part 1 is really more of an intro than a Part 1. I have a whole lot more to say on this subject but it's been a while since I last posted so I want to get this one out there to get your juices flowing on this subject. Take a step back and think about the importance you place on various circumstances in your life. Are they really worthy of your stress and frustration over them?
More later.
Love to all.
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