So, it's January and time to fast. This hasn't always been a part of my life. In fact, I'm quite the newbie to fasting compared to other people in my life. My mother-in-law, aka "the queen of fasting" has been doing a total liquid 21 Day Fast in January for the last 12 years. If you're new to fasting and you're looking for encouragement, she will do it. If you're looking for a cheerleader, she will be it. Lindy, who had never been able to fast for more than about 36 hours, has also done the 21 Day Fast for the last several years along with a growing group of people in our church and others who are interested in seeing what God can do when they purposely deny their flesh. I did the 21 Day Fast three of the last four years and did well each time until last year. I made it to about Day 18 last year before I started having some trouble with my inner ear. Thank God that last year on Day 18 was the LAST TIME I had one of my horrific, room-spinning, upchucking episodes. Maybe God honored my faithfulness to Him. Maybe he chose to use the upper cervical care I was getting at that time. Maybe He fixed me because I was speaking His Word--and continue to speak His Word--over my body. I don't really care how He did it. I just care that I am better and if He used my fasting to do it, then it was worth it.
When I stopped my fast on Day 18 last year I started thinking about what I would "fast" this year. Turns out I felt like God was telling me to give up three things that are very near and dear to my heart, or at least my flesh: Sweets, Soda, and Shopping. I began fasting those things as I did the 7 Day Pre-Fast. (That's the prescribed diet that gets you off all the junk you're putting in your body and prepares your body for a liquids only fast). For those people who aren't fans of chocolate chip cookies, a good fountain Coke, or shopping for just about anything; then fasting those things wouldn't mean much to you. But, they mean a lot to me; and it's been difficult. I was having a particularly rough day and having a bit of a pity party for myself about why I opted to give up both sweets and soda. I was stressed out and really in need of either a Coke or a Snicker bar, a chocolate chip cookie, a brownie... Sorry, I digress. When I couldn't turn to those things to make myself feel better I had to resort to praying that God would bring peace to my day and give me wisdom. OK, isn't that the point of fasting and denying your flesh? At least it's one of the points. I don't consider myself an emotional eater, but a well-placed piece of chocolate in the middle of my day just makes everything better. There's nothing wrong at all with sweets, at least in moderation, but using them to take the place of turning to the true source of our help is wrong.
Of course one of the side benefits of fasting is losing pounds or inches. This would not necessarily be a bad thing for me. I haven't measured, but even though I haven't lost any weight I definitely feel less bloated and slimmer around my post-three-baby belly. I definitely have issues with sticking to any sort of restrictive diet because I'll tell myself as long as I can still fit into my Size 6 jeans then everything is fine. I don't want to be a Size 2 or 4 anyway. That would mean buying all new clothes and I know I would never stick to any diet plan that would cause me to maintain that size. Of course, I also choose to blame my "big bones," which is true but not a very good excuse. In the end, I have to remind myself that my end all goal in fasting sweets and soda is not to get skinny, but instead, to deny my flesh and see what God wants to teach me through it. If I slim down in the process, then I'm not going to shed any tears over it.
Now, onto the fasting of shopping which sounds awfully silly. I almost find myself apologizing to people for my silliness when I explain that I'm fasting shopping. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not one of those women who goes out and maxes out credit cards, puts her family in dire straits, or hides purchases from her husband. However, I do shop as a sport and buy things that I don't really need. More than anything, I have really had to repent over this one. I had lost sight of needs vs. wants and just buying something because I see it and think I need it or Lindy needs it or my kids need it. I had to buy Ethan and Gavin new tennis shoes, but other than that I have not purchased anything other than groceries or food since January 3. If you're laughing out loud at this point, then you aren't a shopper...or maybe you're laughing to hide the fact that you're uncomfortable with the idea of giving up shopping. I've been praying about, and leaning towards, being accountable to Lindy for my post-fast purchases. As far as husbands go, he is a dream when it comes to not nagging me about shopping. He also has a bit of an issue with shopping for sport too, but that's his to deal with and not mine. I'm not imposing my self-imposed restrictions on him.
Yesterday we were out by ourselves and quite a pair together. He couldn't eat and I couldn't shop. We went to St. Louis Bread Company and sat together drinking hot chocolate. He had to smell all the food. Then, he talked me into going into Nordstrom Rack. He got me back by me by having me go in a store and not shop. I did pretty well. At one point when I was trying on sunglasses in the men's department (I know, I'm sad and desperate), I asked him if it was really shopping if he bought them for me instead of me buying them myself. He didn't buy it...literally.
So, my fast will continue until Monday, January 30. I'm really praying that I get out of this all that God desires for me to experience. I trust that it will be a time of growth for me. After all, if we're not going forward what's the point? I'm not a fan of the status quo. I always want to do better. I want the same for you. Know that if you're fasting this month and denying your flesh, I'm praying for you. You can do it. I know you can because if I can do it you can too. If we are in Christ then we can do all things through Him who gives us strength. Let Him be your strength. Don't let Coke, and shopping, and chocolate cake, and York Peppermint Patties, and chocolate fondue, and cinnamon rolls, and.... Sorry, I digress AGAIN!!
Later...Love to All.
Summer 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
My Management Style...or maybe just How to Get Along with People
I am not crazy about the fact that I haven't written a blog post since Thanksgiving. I am by NO MEANS a professional blogger, but I really enjoyed it when I was keeping up with it about once a week. I'm really sad to see some of my oldest friends let their blogs go by the wayside when that was my main way of staying up with their current lives. I don't plan on letting that happen, but I don't like to write just anything in order to just have something to post. Don't get me wrong. During the Christmas season I thought of a few things I could write about but none of them seemed "blog worthy." I wanted to write about my ways of coping with my Christmas control issues but it wouldn't have made for a very long post as I'm only a little less controlling and uptight than I used to be. I do have strategies though that, when implemented, make me an easier person to get along with when it comes to all of the extra stuff that goes along with the real reason for Christmas. Now that Christmas has come and gone I have moved on.
Today brought to light something that might be blog-worthy. For me blog-worthy is something that is really funny, has some sort of take-away, causes me to be transparent in a way that might be helpful to someone, or all of the above rolled in to one amazing blog post. For the record, I am really hoping that 2012 isn't as eventful as 2011. If you go back and read in the February to April section of 2011 you'll understand why I'm praying to have to really search for something to write about this year. So, here's the first one for this year and it's actually something that I wrote 8 years ago. One of my co-workers, Tracie, reminded me of this little bulleted list describing my management style that I wrote all those years ago when I spoke to a group of peers in my company. It was a regional meeting and given that I had been around for 7 years at that point in a management position I guess our consultant thought I had something to share. Tracie reminded me of this because we have a new supervisor in the office and whenever I have a new supervisor I bring out this list to describe my management style and to, hopefully, give them some advice in working with their own employees. I had forgotten about it since it's been five years since I looked at it and I hope I still do all of these. Admittedly, some days are better than others. I can always do better. In reading this list, it may seem a little specific (I'm a nurse who happens to be in management for a hospice agency and I supervise people who are also supervisors). However, I think many of these will hit home to my readers, regardless of whether you are in management or you work in an office environment or you just have to simply get along with people. Maybe I should have titled it "How to Get Along with People." By the way, "PCC" stands for "Patient Care Coordinator" and is the title of the supervisors who report to me. Anyway, here you go, and I hope there is some take-away for you. I'll try to come up with something that I didn't pull out of the far reaches of my computer for my next post.
Today brought to light something that might be blog-worthy. For me blog-worthy is something that is really funny, has some sort of take-away, causes me to be transparent in a way that might be helpful to someone, or all of the above rolled in to one amazing blog post. For the record, I am really hoping that 2012 isn't as eventful as 2011. If you go back and read in the February to April section of 2011 you'll understand why I'm praying to have to really search for something to write about this year. So, here's the first one for this year and it's actually something that I wrote 8 years ago. One of my co-workers, Tracie, reminded me of this little bulleted list describing my management style that I wrote all those years ago when I spoke to a group of peers in my company. It was a regional meeting and given that I had been around for 7 years at that point in a management position I guess our consultant thought I had something to share. Tracie reminded me of this because we have a new supervisor in the office and whenever I have a new supervisor I bring out this list to describe my management style and to, hopefully, give them some advice in working with their own employees. I had forgotten about it since it's been five years since I looked at it and I hope I still do all of these. Admittedly, some days are better than others. I can always do better. In reading this list, it may seem a little specific (I'm a nurse who happens to be in management for a hospice agency and I supervise people who are also supervisors). However, I think many of these will hit home to my readers, regardless of whether you are in management or you work in an office environment or you just have to simply get along with people. Maybe I should have titled it "How to Get Along with People." By the way, "PCC" stands for "Patient Care Coordinator" and is the title of the supervisors who report to me. Anyway, here you go, and I hope there is some take-away for you. I'll try to come up with something that I didn't pull out of the far reaches of my computer for my next post.
My Management Style
(In relation to clinical supervision)
- Hire the right people. Don’t just hire someone because of their ability to accomplish the tasks listed on their job description. Make sure they will fit in with the group. Try to find people that will have varying strengths and weaknesses and will be able to contribute different things to the group. NO WARM BODIES.
- Respect isn’t automatic just because of the position you hold. It has to be earned—on many different levels. If the PCCs respected my ability to make clinical decisions, yet they saw me always taking the position of saving a buck for the company, would they really respect what I always say about the patient being the top priority?
- It is in your best interest, as a manager, to take a genuine personal interest in your employees. If you show you care for them on a personal level they will be more likely to give you 100% on a professional level. I view my employees as my “patients.” They are the source of my satisfaction as a nurse in feeling that I care for others and can feed into their lives by making this a positive work environment.
- Use your nursing assessment skills to gauge each individual on a daily basis. Become someone who is adept at reading people and treat each person as an individual. Don’t let interpersonal conflicts or bad feelings fester. Intervene without taking sides. Be Switzerland.
- Try to always remain calm, even if chaos is trying to push in on all sides. Your staff will take your lead and respond in like manner. Likewise, always remain positive and give people the benefit of the doubt. Remember, you hired the right people. Show them that you believe in them.
- Don’t view your employees or treat them as if they work for you. They are, after all, employees of the company. I try not to refer to them as “my PCCs.”
- Don’t be afraid to delegate. Remember, once again, that you hired the right people. If they were bright enough for you to offer them the position, trust them to do their job.
- Remember, this is a team environment. If one of the PCCs, or more, is out of the office, I pitch right in and help with the clinical tasks. You are not above doing an admission, a visit, or even answering the phones.
- Play the devil’s advocate. This will help them to broaden their viewpoint and will teach them to make decisions independently. Your knowledge base must be sufficient for you to be successful at this.
- Don’t micromanage. It is your job to look at the “big picture.” This is one of your most important job functions. Teach them to also look at the big picture. Their “picture” will not be as big as yours, as your viewpoint is much greater, but they can learn to see it in their own team.
- A big plus is having an administrator who trusts your ability to make sound clinical decisions that will have an overall positive financial impact on the branch. I have always been blessed with this. If you are micromanaged, you can’t do your job effectively. Of course, you have no control over this.
- Maintain confidentiality no matter what. Whether it is regarding your employees’ personal lives, or work issues regarding field employees, learn to keep a secret. If you can’t be trusted, you can’t help anyone. They won’t come to you for support or advice.
- Don’t ever play favorites or undermine their peers to the others. Each quality person that you hired has her own strengths and weaknesses and should be treated individually.
- Be able to identify your own weaknesses and work to overcome those. As your program grows you may identify weaknesses you didn’t realize when managing a smaller program.
- Expect mistakes to be made—both by you and others. Because you hired the right people, they will be harder on themselves than you ever could be. Turn mistakes into opportunities to learn and don’t broadcast them to the rest of the team unless it is as a productive lesson to help others learn. Quality people will be able to learn from others’ mistakes.
- Be a person who is quick to acknowledge a job well done. It doesn’t take away from you to recognize someone else’s accomplishments, it adds to you.
- Never stop trying to do a better job. Look for ways to learn to foster teamwork and improve your management style.
- Remember, people are usually smarter than you give them credit for. They will identify a critical attitude and negative atmosphere without much prompting. Always work to maintain a positive work environment. This is especially important in the work that we do. Dying is depressing enough without the workplace also being a drag.
- Always remember that no one is irreplaceable. If you left tomorrow, your branch would not fold up and cease to exist. A sign of a good manager is that the office runs just as smoothly in your absence as in your presence. If you’ve done your job the way you are supposed to, you will have a well-oiled machine that looks easy and as if it happened by accident.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
A Thankful Heart
Today is Thanksgiving and, hopefully, we all like to talk about everything we are thankful for on this day. We list things like health, family members, friends, shelter, transportation, jobs, etc. But, do we remember to give thanks to the One from whom all good things come? I try to live each day with a thankful heart and I even recall praying as a teenager that I would never take for granted all the good things God did in my life. We have even more to be thankful for if we live a life of obedience to God because He blesses us even more. That topic is definitely a blog post for another day, but I am assured that even when things in my life don't go the way I expect them to go; I know that if I'm living a life of obedience then God will bless me and change my situation or change my attitude about it.
Of course, being me, I'm also thankful for the little, crazy things in my life. I'm thankful for whoever invented leggings and that they are still in style this year. I'm thankful that my adventure into the land of having red in my hair has now faded nicely to a normal color--and I'm thankful that when I first got the color done I could laugh it off when people thought I had done it for the Cardinals. I'm thankful that I have the kind of husband who searched high and low to buy me my favorite perfume for Christmas last year when it has been discontinued. I'm thankful for sales and coupons at my favorite clothing stores. I'm thankful that Lindy and Jac were OK when they hit someone in MY CAR. (This is the second new to fairly new car of mine that Lindy has wrecked in our marriage. He's also side swiped one vehicle of ours with another and taken off part of the siding on our garage from pulling in to close to the side...and they talk about woman drivers. Just saying). I'm thankful that he lets me tease him about stuff. Trust me, it goes both ways. I'm thankful that I have a 12-year-old boy who still lets me hug and kiss him. I'm thankful that I have a 9-year-old boy who will still sit on my lap--on occasion. I'm thankful that I have a 5-year-old boy who snuggles my neck, sighs contentedly, and says, "I love that smell." I'm thankful for all these things and so much more. It would be impossible to list them all and not leave someone or something out. Instead of having my own exhaustive list I want to close this post with the words of the psalmist, David--sort of. This is Psalm 111 from "The Message" bible. If you don't read the Bible at all or if it doesn't make sense to you, try out "The Message."
Of course, being me, I'm also thankful for the little, crazy things in my life. I'm thankful for whoever invented leggings and that they are still in style this year. I'm thankful that my adventure into the land of having red in my hair has now faded nicely to a normal color--and I'm thankful that when I first got the color done I could laugh it off when people thought I had done it for the Cardinals. I'm thankful that I have the kind of husband who searched high and low to buy me my favorite perfume for Christmas last year when it has been discontinued. I'm thankful for sales and coupons at my favorite clothing stores. I'm thankful that Lindy and Jac were OK when they hit someone in MY CAR. (This is the second new to fairly new car of mine that Lindy has wrecked in our marriage. He's also side swiped one vehicle of ours with another and taken off part of the siding on our garage from pulling in to close to the side...and they talk about woman drivers. Just saying). I'm thankful that he lets me tease him about stuff. Trust me, it goes both ways. I'm thankful that I have a 12-year-old boy who still lets me hug and kiss him. I'm thankful that I have a 9-year-old boy who will still sit on my lap--on occasion. I'm thankful that I have a 5-year-old boy who snuggles my neck, sighs contentedly, and says, "I love that smell." I'm thankful for all these things and so much more. It would be impossible to list them all and not leave someone or something out. Instead of having my own exhaustive list I want to close this post with the words of the psalmist, David--sort of. This is Psalm 111 from "The Message" bible. If you don't read the Bible at all or if it doesn't make sense to you, try out "The Message."
Psalm 111
Hallelujah!
I give thanks to God with everything I've got--
Wherever good people gather, and in the congregation.
God's works are so great, worth
A lifetime of study--endless enjoyment!
Splendor and beauty mark his craft;
His generosity never gives out.
His miracles are his memorial--
This God of Grace, this God of Love.
He gave food to those who fear him,
He remembered to keep his ancient promise.
He proved to his people that he could do what he said:
Hand them the nations on a platter--a gift!
He manufactures truth and justice;
All his products are guaranteed to last--
Never out-of-date, never obsolete, rust-proof.
All that he makes and does is honest and true:
He paid the ransom for his people.
He ordered his Covenant kept forever.
He's so personal and holy, worthy of our respect.
The good life begins in the fear of God--
Do that and you'll know the blessing of God.
His Hallelujah lasts forever!
Need I say more? Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and remember to give thanks to the One who gave it all for us.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
My Dad is Turning 80 Years Old...And This is What I Think He Would Say It's All About
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| This is my Dad as a handsome young guy in the Navy. Fitting since his birthday is two days after Veteran's Day. |
I can't believe my Dad is turning 80 years old on the 13th. He doesn't really seem "old man" to me so it's a little difficult to wrap my brain around this milestone. Of course, since I was born when he was 40 years old...I'll let you fill in the blank with what that means for me next year. I wrote quite a bit about my Dad back at Father's Day so rather than writing about him as a person I thought I would try to put myself in his shoes and write about the heritage he has created in his 80 years. If you were to ask him what his life has been all about I believe he would say that this is what it's all about.
So, what is this? Is it having lots of money? While he's been frugal, smart, and conservative with his decisions about money I don't think he would agree that he has amassed a great fortune in monetary wealth or that this is what it's all about. Is it having advanced degrees? While he had a double major in college and graduated at the top of his class and then pursued classes towards a master's degree I don't believe he would say that this is what it's all about. Is it pastoring a mega church if your calling is to be a pastor? I'm positive he wouldn't say that was what it's all about. Would he say that it's about still having all of your own teeth when you turn 80 years old? I don't think he would say that this is what it's all about--although I think he would want you to know that he does, indeed, still have all of his own teeth. Rather than come out and tell you what I think he would say, here's an illustration that will demonstrate my opinion.
My three boys attend public school because it's free and because my husband and I feel that the best way to be the light in a darkened world is to actually be in the darkened world where we can be the light. This goes against the opinion of private schoolers, Christian schoolers, and home schoolers. I'm cool with that. People make their own decisions about their own children for their own reasons. Our kids happen to be both well-adjusted and emotionally mature, and relatively unscathed from their public school experience thus far. My husband's and my parents had both of us and our siblings attend public school. I'm sure it was for the same reasons, but especially because of the "free" part. I know that neither of our families could have afforded private or Christian school. So, they prayed that God would protect our bodies, minds, and spirits and sent us on our merry way. We do the same with our children. On the one morning each week I am actually able to see my boys out the front door I pray for them and ask God that they would "shine the light of Jesus to everyone around them." And, "shine" they do. The two boys of mine who are old enough to actually write and put sentences together incorporate Jesus or church or something about their faith into everything they turn in at school. We have never suggested or encouraged them to do this. I don't believe Jac and Ethan ever discuss this either. For years they have brought home paper after paper and assignment after assignment and art project after art project that incorporate their faith. I don't save a lot of them, but I saved this one that Ethan brought home recently. He was asked to write a paper titled "My Favorite Place" and it was supposed to include each of his five senses and how his favorite place related to his senses. So, here you go. Keep in mind when you read this that our church is on 16 acres and he was apparently thinking of Wednesday night at church when there is dinner before church starts.
My Favorite Place
by Ethan Carnett
My favorite place is church. Here are some things outside my church that make my senses explode. First, two of the things I see are a jump house and a bunch of kids. Next, I hear bugs and snakes. Then, I smell the woods and good food. When I go inside I taste funnel cakes and fried Oreos. When I'm there I feel like I'm at home and I feel needed. Now you see how my senses come alive at my church.
Obviously, you can guess that my favorite part is what Ethan says he feels when he's at church. That's the way I wish everyone would feel when they are at church. Knowing that they are at home and that they feel needed might actually make people who don't go to church want to go to church. That's what church should be--a family that makes you feel at home and has something for you to do so that you feel needed. It's ironic that our church motto or slogan or whatever they call it is "A Place to Call Home." A 9-year-old boy feels it. I think other people do too. Never have we had to make our children go to church or force them to go. There is no battle about church--and we are there early and stay late. They love to go because of the reasons Ethan mentioned and because they have their own love for the things of God. That is what was instilled in us as children and that is what we are cultivating in our children.
Ethan is only one of my Dad's six offspring--between his two children and four grandchildren. The beautiful part is that all of Dad's offspring, including his daughter-in-law and son-in-law are part of the wonderful heritage he has prayed for over his 80 years. We all love Jesus and each other and are peaceful and content in serving God. We are blessed and our blessings are no accident. They are promises found in God's Word that are there for anyone who is called a child of God and has truly made Him their Lord and Savior. Lindy often says, "Everyone wants a Savior, not as many people want a Lord." It's about living your life in submission to God's will and not your own. Our family's blessings are a result of a life dedicated to God and lived for Jesus and for us it begins with the leadership we have benefitted from in this person we love who is turning 80 years old.
So, what would my Dad say that it's all about? For him, I believe that turning 80 years old is only sweetness and light because all of his family has made Jesus their number one priority as he chose to do along with my mother many, many years ago. This is what it's all about.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
My New Hobby (Which Turned Out to be Lindy's Newest "Flavor of the Month") and Facing My Fears...Part 2
If you're new to my blog or you just haven't caught up lately you have to go back and read the last post for any of this one to make sense. I'll wait while you go back and read it.... OK, now you know that my newest hobby is bicycling!! You also learned why I am calling it Lindy's newest "flavor of the month." The part I missed covering in the last post was facing my fears. What does bicycling have to do with facing my fears? Apparently, a lot, according to my husband.
I have to back up to Labor Day weekend where this story really begins, or continues, depending on your viewpoint. Lindy and I had an actual three-day weekend with no children involved!!! This never happens. We sent the kids off to the other side of Missouri to see their cousins on Friday night knowing that we wouldn't see them until Monday evening. I think it's the first time ever this has happened. Thanks, Grammy and Papa!! We did miss a cool Ronnin-designed kid's birthday party which is an event in itself, but we managed to survived. Anyway, Lindy had purchased his bike the previous weekend and mine actually came in from California and was assembled on Friday. Lindy went to pick it up and we ended up traveling around to several stores that evening to shop for bike accessories and out to dinner with my bike attached to the back of the van. Lindy was sure he got several curious stares when he was by himself. (You read the last post and saw the picture of my bike so you can understand why he would get a few sideways glances). Once I was in the van with him, I just knew that people were looking at the bike, then seeing me, and saying to themselves, "There's the girl that owns that supercool bike!" (Sometimes I make things more in my mind than they are in real life. You do it too. Don't fool yourself). Anyway, we did joke about what people were saying to themselves when they looked at us. That evening when we got home after 10:00 was the first opportunity I actually had to ride my bike, around the cul de sac in the dark. Other than test riding bikes at bike stores I hadn't been on a bike for any length of time in 16 years. Sixteen years, people!! I was a little rusty. I managed to stay on the bike. The next evening Lindy and I rode about five miles total. We rode to a little cafe and ate dinner. When we walked in with our cool bike attire on and carrying our helmets there were some admiring stares and audible gasps. (Again, I'm probably making too much of it, but I did hear people say, "Look at them. They rode their bikes here." That was probably the extent of their attention toward us).
The next day, Sunday, is when our adventure started. Lindy and I decided that we needed to stay overnight somewhere on the Katy Trail and ride our bikes--a little biking adventure. After much research, with him on his laptop and me on my iPad at the kitchen table (you already know we're nerds after reading the last post), we decided to go to Hermann after church on Sunday and stay in a bed a breakfast. If you don't recall Labor Day or you don't live in our part of Missouri, just know that it was an absolutely picture-perfect, gorgeous weekend--weather-wise. We drove to Hermann, walked around the downtown area (no offense to any Hermann-lovers, but Hermann has nothing on downtown St. Charles), and checked into our bed and breakfast. We hit the Katy Trail at around 4:00 or so. Now, keep in mind that the evening before when I rode about 5 miles was the most bicycling I had done in 16 years. I am also not what you would call athletic, unless carrying heavy shopping bags counts. I was a little sore already from the five miles the previous night. So we picked a direction on the Katy Trail and started riding. We had decided to see if we could make it to a landmark that was about 8 miles away. That's right, people, we started the ride planning to go about 16 miles. In my naive, bike-novice mind I must not have been thinking straight and I should have also expected that anything Lindy does he is going to push himself--and me--to do it better or farther or whatever. That's just his nature. The Katy Trail is little gravelly rocks--not a smooth surface. It is a beautiful trail in that area but it felt as if we were going uphill. We had already learned through research that the Katy Trail is "exceptionally flat." Lindy tells me as we're traveling along that we're actually on a slight incline so we should be coasting on the way back. It doesn't really matter how far we go because the ride back is going to be a breeze, according to him. Since he's my husband and he's more of an outdoor person than me and he has a bike computer which I am imagining is telling him that we are headed up an incline, I persevere onward. The picture from my last post is about 2-3 miles in to our journey. Several miles along the route we come along a couple sitting on a bench. We stop to chat and we mention that we're glad it will be downhill on the way back. They give us a bit of an odd look and say that it feels like it's uphill both ways and it feels like you have a headwind both ways. Interesting. Undaunted, we decide--or Lindy decides--once we get to the landmark that is at the 8.2 mile mark that since we've come this far we should just see if we can go ten miles before turning around. We did. At the ten mile mark was a horse farm and we took these pictures so that was quite a nice little surprise.
On the way back, when we have to ride back every mile that we've already journeyed, is when the real fun began. We're riding along and it feels the same way going back as is it did when we were outbound--like we were going uphill. I say to Lindy, "I thought your bike computer said that we were going uphill before." He says, "Oh, no, my bike computer doesn't have that function. It just 'looked' to me like we were going uphill so I assumed the way back would be really easy and we would just be coasting." Seriously? SERIOUSLY!!? You brought me ten miles with the promise of an easy ride back and it's going to feel exactly like the ten miles out! Needless to say, I was a little miffed at this point. Had I been in better shape or been on a bike AT ALL prior to the last 24 hours it would not have been as big of a deal. To make it an even better story, I fell off my bike and got a little banged up at about mile 14. Here's a picture of that:
I learned later that Lindy had posted the nice, smiling picture of me on my bike to Facebook with the caption, "My hot wife on her new bike." After my accident he took the picture above and posted, "My hot wife after she fell off her new bike." So, the last six miles back were an effort in perseverance for me. My booty was killing me, in spite of my "comfort seat" and my padded shorts. My knee was hurting really bad and we only had water to pour on it. My legs ached tremendously. I was in bad shape and I had a hard time keeping up with him. After the 20 mile journey was over, in which we argued about whether 20 miles bicycling was a big deal, I was not in a wonderful frame of mind. We were riding for nearly three hours. I understand that riding 20 miles to someone who bikes a lot is a piece of cake, but to me, in my condition, it was way too much.
We found a restaurant that was open and ended up waiting until almost 9:00 to eat. We're still in our bike attire and I have a visible limp from my knee and yet undiscovered golf ball-sized bruise on my hip. The next morning I was so sore I could barely move but the purpose of our trip was to ride our bikes, right?? So we went back to the same place and took off in the other direction. So ensued much debate and arguing about how far we should go. Lindy said if I would just keep at it I would work the soreness out. At that point it wasn't happening. We only rode about three miles before I told him I wanted to go back, which gave us only a 6 mile ride that morning. Needless to say, we were not in a happy place with each other. This is where the rubber hit the road, literally, and the truth started to come out.
Lindy notices that I seem really nervous and fearful on my bike. This is where it stinks sometimes to be married so long to someone that they can tell what you're thinking and then call you on it. He said I was so focused on analyzing the trail and looking for any obstructions and judging which was the best part of the path and staying far enough away from his bike and avoiding having another wreck and trying to look forward and not letting my attention stray from anything other than the trail...that I wasn't having any fun at all. I was fearful and not allowing myself to enjoy any part of of it. I hate it when he's right. He was right. I was absolutely doing all of the above in addition to being focused on my sore knee and sore bum and sore legs. As we finished the ride and loaded our bikes and began the trip home the discussion, or counseling session, continued. This is where the good and challenging part of being married to a pastor comes in. Part of his job is counseling, and while I don't know most details of who he counsels and what he counsels them about; the one thing I do know is that he will tell you the truth. He is not a sugar-coater. He will not tell you something just because he thinks it's what you want to hear. So, fair warning friends, if you seek out my pastor-husband for counseling be prepared to hear the truth. His approach might vary from one person and personality to another, but he will still tell you the truth about yourself and your situation. I know this from personal experience.
So, during this counseling session journeying from Hermann to home, he isolates my fears to outdoor activities. Right again. It does seem that I have a lot of fear about outdoor activities. I've basically given up snow skiing and one of the main reasons is because of my fear of heights. Standing at the top of the mountain and realizing I have to get to the bottom is alarming to me. Lindy doesn't get that because my feet are planted on the ground the whole time. It's not like I'm suspended in the air. I also don't care for softball/baseball/dodgeball because I don't like the idea of possibly getting hit by a ball. I'll cover my face with my glove before I dive to catch a softball that comes near me. I got singled out in 4th grade by my teacher because I pretended to get hit by the dodgeball so I could sit out of the game. Whoever invented a game where the idea is to just hit someone with a ball was crazy, in my opinion. I'm not sure where I came by these fears. My brother is one of the most fearless people I know and we grew up in the same house. He did all kinds of crazy stuff. I did remind Lindy in the midst of this session that he is fearful of the open-MRI machine and requires Xanax and me holding his hand to cope with the situation. His defense there is that having an MRI doesn't interfere with his everyday life.
So, what was his solution for me? He said that when you have fear there are only two options to get over it, "face it or pray it." He asked me what was the most fearful thing I could ever think of doing. After a moment, I said, "bungee jumping." He says, "Then, that's what you should do. Go bungee jumping!!" Yeah, right. I told him I was picking the "pray it" solution. After further consideration a few days later, I decided that actually the most fearful thing I can think of doing is being in a room full of snakes, Indiana Jones-style. Yeah, that's not happening.
I appreciate my husband for being one of the few people in my life who tell me the truth about myself. Most people are too nice or too respectful to really tell you the truth--at least they are with me. When you're a pastor's wife and you supervise the majority of the people that you work with in your Monday through Friday job, you can maybe count on 2-3 people in your life who will really be honest with you. If you think about it, it's probably the same with you. Most people don't have an abundance of people around them who feel comfortable enough or are intimate enough to really let you know the hard, uncomfortable truth in love. If you have more than 2-3 then you are truly blessed.
On a lighter note, I counted on my friend, Bridget, to tell me if I had something in my teeth or if I was having a wardrobe malfunction, but she works in a different office now. By the way, if I have something in my teeth please tell me.
I have decided to pray about my fears, and over the last 6 weeks or so, I have gotten more comfortable on my bike and I really enjoy it. We try to ride as a family at least a couple times a week and even last night we rode 5.5 miles. Lindy is still very much enjoying this "flavor" so I'm glad for that. Our friends, Matt and Jenn, are jumping on the bike train and they picked up their bikes from the bike shop the other night!! We can't wait to ride with them. Lindy is also riding with friends and with the boys. I hope this just continues on and on.
The positive side of riding 20 miles in one outing and 31 miles in one weekend is that anything less seems totally doable. That was the gift that the 20 mile ride gave me, along with the honesty of my pastor-husband about things that I needed to hear. By the way, I am one of his 2-3 people who are honest with him, but my blog isn't the place where I air his dirty laundry--just mine.
My prayer for you is that you find those 2-3 people who are willing to be honest with you, if you don't have them already, and that you deal with any fears you may have--by either facing it or praying it. We're scheduled to go skiing in Vermont in February so I'm sure I'll report back about whether I skied or stayed in the lodge reading a book--which happens to be just as enjoyable to me.
Have a wonderful weekend. :)
I have to back up to Labor Day weekend where this story really begins, or continues, depending on your viewpoint. Lindy and I had an actual three-day weekend with no children involved!!! This never happens. We sent the kids off to the other side of Missouri to see their cousins on Friday night knowing that we wouldn't see them until Monday evening. I think it's the first time ever this has happened. Thanks, Grammy and Papa!! We did miss a cool Ronnin-designed kid's birthday party which is an event in itself, but we managed to survived. Anyway, Lindy had purchased his bike the previous weekend and mine actually came in from California and was assembled on Friday. Lindy went to pick it up and we ended up traveling around to several stores that evening to shop for bike accessories and out to dinner with my bike attached to the back of the van. Lindy was sure he got several curious stares when he was by himself. (You read the last post and saw the picture of my bike so you can understand why he would get a few sideways glances). Once I was in the van with him, I just knew that people were looking at the bike, then seeing me, and saying to themselves, "There's the girl that owns that supercool bike!" (Sometimes I make things more in my mind than they are in real life. You do it too. Don't fool yourself). Anyway, we did joke about what people were saying to themselves when they looked at us. That evening when we got home after 10:00 was the first opportunity I actually had to ride my bike, around the cul de sac in the dark. Other than test riding bikes at bike stores I hadn't been on a bike for any length of time in 16 years. Sixteen years, people!! I was a little rusty. I managed to stay on the bike. The next evening Lindy and I rode about five miles total. We rode to a little cafe and ate dinner. When we walked in with our cool bike attire on and carrying our helmets there were some admiring stares and audible gasps. (Again, I'm probably making too much of it, but I did hear people say, "Look at them. They rode their bikes here." That was probably the extent of their attention toward us).
The next day, Sunday, is when our adventure started. Lindy and I decided that we needed to stay overnight somewhere on the Katy Trail and ride our bikes--a little biking adventure. After much research, with him on his laptop and me on my iPad at the kitchen table (you already know we're nerds after reading the last post), we decided to go to Hermann after church on Sunday and stay in a bed a breakfast. If you don't recall Labor Day or you don't live in our part of Missouri, just know that it was an absolutely picture-perfect, gorgeous weekend--weather-wise. We drove to Hermann, walked around the downtown area (no offense to any Hermann-lovers, but Hermann has nothing on downtown St. Charles), and checked into our bed and breakfast. We hit the Katy Trail at around 4:00 or so. Now, keep in mind that the evening before when I rode about 5 miles was the most bicycling I had done in 16 years. I am also not what you would call athletic, unless carrying heavy shopping bags counts. I was a little sore already from the five miles the previous night. So we picked a direction on the Katy Trail and started riding. We had decided to see if we could make it to a landmark that was about 8 miles away. That's right, people, we started the ride planning to go about 16 miles. In my naive, bike-novice mind I must not have been thinking straight and I should have also expected that anything Lindy does he is going to push himself--and me--to do it better or farther or whatever. That's just his nature. The Katy Trail is little gravelly rocks--not a smooth surface. It is a beautiful trail in that area but it felt as if we were going uphill. We had already learned through research that the Katy Trail is "exceptionally flat." Lindy tells me as we're traveling along that we're actually on a slight incline so we should be coasting on the way back. It doesn't really matter how far we go because the ride back is going to be a breeze, according to him. Since he's my husband and he's more of an outdoor person than me and he has a bike computer which I am imagining is telling him that we are headed up an incline, I persevere onward. The picture from my last post is about 2-3 miles in to our journey. Several miles along the route we come along a couple sitting on a bench. We stop to chat and we mention that we're glad it will be downhill on the way back. They give us a bit of an odd look and say that it feels like it's uphill both ways and it feels like you have a headwind both ways. Interesting. Undaunted, we decide--or Lindy decides--once we get to the landmark that is at the 8.2 mile mark that since we've come this far we should just see if we can go ten miles before turning around. We did. At the ten mile mark was a horse farm and we took these pictures so that was quite a nice little surprise.
On the way back, when we have to ride back every mile that we've already journeyed, is when the real fun began. We're riding along and it feels the same way going back as is it did when we were outbound--like we were going uphill. I say to Lindy, "I thought your bike computer said that we were going uphill before." He says, "Oh, no, my bike computer doesn't have that function. It just 'looked' to me like we were going uphill so I assumed the way back would be really easy and we would just be coasting." Seriously? SERIOUSLY!!? You brought me ten miles with the promise of an easy ride back and it's going to feel exactly like the ten miles out! Needless to say, I was a little miffed at this point. Had I been in better shape or been on a bike AT ALL prior to the last 24 hours it would not have been as big of a deal. To make it an even better story, I fell off my bike and got a little banged up at about mile 14. Here's a picture of that:
I learned later that Lindy had posted the nice, smiling picture of me on my bike to Facebook with the caption, "My hot wife on her new bike." After my accident he took the picture above and posted, "My hot wife after she fell off her new bike." So, the last six miles back were an effort in perseverance for me. My booty was killing me, in spite of my "comfort seat" and my padded shorts. My knee was hurting really bad and we only had water to pour on it. My legs ached tremendously. I was in bad shape and I had a hard time keeping up with him. After the 20 mile journey was over, in which we argued about whether 20 miles bicycling was a big deal, I was not in a wonderful frame of mind. We were riding for nearly three hours. I understand that riding 20 miles to someone who bikes a lot is a piece of cake, but to me, in my condition, it was way too much.
We found a restaurant that was open and ended up waiting until almost 9:00 to eat. We're still in our bike attire and I have a visible limp from my knee and yet undiscovered golf ball-sized bruise on my hip. The next morning I was so sore I could barely move but the purpose of our trip was to ride our bikes, right?? So we went back to the same place and took off in the other direction. So ensued much debate and arguing about how far we should go. Lindy said if I would just keep at it I would work the soreness out. At that point it wasn't happening. We only rode about three miles before I told him I wanted to go back, which gave us only a 6 mile ride that morning. Needless to say, we were not in a happy place with each other. This is where the rubber hit the road, literally, and the truth started to come out.
Lindy notices that I seem really nervous and fearful on my bike. This is where it stinks sometimes to be married so long to someone that they can tell what you're thinking and then call you on it. He said I was so focused on analyzing the trail and looking for any obstructions and judging which was the best part of the path and staying far enough away from his bike and avoiding having another wreck and trying to look forward and not letting my attention stray from anything other than the trail...that I wasn't having any fun at all. I was fearful and not allowing myself to enjoy any part of of it. I hate it when he's right. He was right. I was absolutely doing all of the above in addition to being focused on my sore knee and sore bum and sore legs. As we finished the ride and loaded our bikes and began the trip home the discussion, or counseling session, continued. This is where the good and challenging part of being married to a pastor comes in. Part of his job is counseling, and while I don't know most details of who he counsels and what he counsels them about; the one thing I do know is that he will tell you the truth. He is not a sugar-coater. He will not tell you something just because he thinks it's what you want to hear. So, fair warning friends, if you seek out my pastor-husband for counseling be prepared to hear the truth. His approach might vary from one person and personality to another, but he will still tell you the truth about yourself and your situation. I know this from personal experience.
So, during this counseling session journeying from Hermann to home, he isolates my fears to outdoor activities. Right again. It does seem that I have a lot of fear about outdoor activities. I've basically given up snow skiing and one of the main reasons is because of my fear of heights. Standing at the top of the mountain and realizing I have to get to the bottom is alarming to me. Lindy doesn't get that because my feet are planted on the ground the whole time. It's not like I'm suspended in the air. I also don't care for softball/baseball/dodgeball because I don't like the idea of possibly getting hit by a ball. I'll cover my face with my glove before I dive to catch a softball that comes near me. I got singled out in 4th grade by my teacher because I pretended to get hit by the dodgeball so I could sit out of the game. Whoever invented a game where the idea is to just hit someone with a ball was crazy, in my opinion. I'm not sure where I came by these fears. My brother is one of the most fearless people I know and we grew up in the same house. He did all kinds of crazy stuff. I did remind Lindy in the midst of this session that he is fearful of the open-MRI machine and requires Xanax and me holding his hand to cope with the situation. His defense there is that having an MRI doesn't interfere with his everyday life.
So, what was his solution for me? He said that when you have fear there are only two options to get over it, "face it or pray it." He asked me what was the most fearful thing I could ever think of doing. After a moment, I said, "bungee jumping." He says, "Then, that's what you should do. Go bungee jumping!!" Yeah, right. I told him I was picking the "pray it" solution. After further consideration a few days later, I decided that actually the most fearful thing I can think of doing is being in a room full of snakes, Indiana Jones-style. Yeah, that's not happening.
I appreciate my husband for being one of the few people in my life who tell me the truth about myself. Most people are too nice or too respectful to really tell you the truth--at least they are with me. When you're a pastor's wife and you supervise the majority of the people that you work with in your Monday through Friday job, you can maybe count on 2-3 people in your life who will really be honest with you. If you think about it, it's probably the same with you. Most people don't have an abundance of people around them who feel comfortable enough or are intimate enough to really let you know the hard, uncomfortable truth in love. If you have more than 2-3 then you are truly blessed.
On a lighter note, I counted on my friend, Bridget, to tell me if I had something in my teeth or if I was having a wardrobe malfunction, but she works in a different office now. By the way, if I have something in my teeth please tell me.
I have decided to pray about my fears, and over the last 6 weeks or so, I have gotten more comfortable on my bike and I really enjoy it. We try to ride as a family at least a couple times a week and even last night we rode 5.5 miles. Lindy is still very much enjoying this "flavor" so I'm glad for that. Our friends, Matt and Jenn, are jumping on the bike train and they picked up their bikes from the bike shop the other night!! We can't wait to ride with them. Lindy is also riding with friends and with the boys. I hope this just continues on and on.
The positive side of riding 20 miles in one outing and 31 miles in one weekend is that anything less seems totally doable. That was the gift that the 20 mile ride gave me, along with the honesty of my pastor-husband about things that I needed to hear. By the way, I am one of his 2-3 people who are honest with him, but my blog isn't the place where I air his dirty laundry--just mine.
My prayer for you is that you find those 2-3 people who are willing to be honest with you, if you don't have them already, and that you deal with any fears you may have--by either facing it or praying it. We're scheduled to go skiing in Vermont in February so I'm sure I'll report back about whether I skied or stayed in the lodge reading a book--which happens to be just as enjoyable to me.
Have a wonderful weekend. :)
Saturday, October 8, 2011
My New Hobby (Which Turned Out to Be Lindy's Newest "Flavor of the Month") and Facing My Fears
I wish it hadn't been so long since I've actually had the chance to sit down and write but the past five weeks or so have been completely nuts. I've been out of town three times--all for pleasure--have been crazy busy at work, and have had lots of other fun stuff to do. My new hobby is also taking up some of my time, which I don't mind, but all of this crazy busyness has gotten in the way of my writing. Anyway, onward.
So what is my new hobby that has turned out to be Lindy's newest "flavor of the month?" (I promise I will explain what is meant by the whole "flavor of the month" thing). Most people who are in my real, every day life have seen the photographic evidence, others on Facebook have been subjected to the same photographic evidence, now it's time to go public. I got a new bike!!!! Here she is pictured below with me. Isn't she pretty?
Her name is "Jenny." That's right. She has a name but I didn't name her. Long story short, I had decided I wanted to get a bike so that I could combine exercise with spending time with my boys. I have real issues with exercise and they go like this: 1) I don't like to get up before the crack of dawn to exercise before work since I already have to get up at 6:00. 2) I don't want to join a gym because I work and that just takes more time away from my family. 3) I haven't been able to run since I was 15 and had a hairline fracture in my left ankle. (I know all you die hard runners are laughing right now and it honestly is probably an excuse at this point). 4) I would rather watch paint dry than to actually walk for exercise. I am a tremendous multi-tasker and so to walk just to walk is almost unbearable to me. I can't hardly watch television without folding a load of laundry or making a grocery list. So, bicycling turned out to be something I thought I could do that would serve more than one purpose and I don't mind adding things to my life that have multiple functions.
So, the search for the right bike began. If you know Lindy and me, you know that we are both researchers, and since he loves research for the sake of research he was right in there with me. He was also ready for a new "flavor of the month" so I wasn't surprised that he was right there with me. We went to numerous bike shops, we searched the internet, we compared bike styles and functions, we sat in our loft area with me on the desktop computer and him on the laptop reading reviews aloud to each other. (Isn't this insight into our exciting lives just absolutely thrilling)?!! I knew already that I wanted a "comfort bike" with a large seat. That's part of the reason I wouldn't ride the mountain bike that had been housed comfortably in our garage for the last 17 or so years. I wanted a bigger seat and I knew I wasn't planning on actually "mountain biking" or bike racing so I found the perfect, beautiful bike for me. (I am fully aware, Gia, that real cyclists will not take me seriously and I'm OK with that). The picture doesn't do it justice. It's turquoise with pink and white polka-dots. It also has a white seat with daisies on it and pink spokes and a bell and...it is just so cool and, apparently so Robin!! No lie, after I got it I had neighbors and strangers alike wanting to know how to get a bike like mine, test riding it, etc. Even my gun-toting, deer-hunting neighbor climbed aboard and took her for a spin. He even rang the bell!! His wife and I were so wishing it hadn't been dark already so that we could have gotten pictures. OK, I digress. My bike is made by the company "Electra" which is out of California and I had to order my bike. Honestly, they just don't have many beach cruisers in the middle of the country and each bike store has only one or two for you to even test drive. I'm not going to go into the technology that makes my bike special, but you should know that it comes in like 15-20 different styles. Mine happens to be called the "Jenny."
How does Lindy's newest "flavor of the month" play into all this? Here's some further insight into my husband. He gets bored easily. Fortunately, he hasn't gotten bored with me or with his vocation, but other than that if he isn't learning something or trying something new or finding a new hobby to get involved in then he gets bored. He doesn't like to read fiction like I do. He wants to read something of substance that teaches him something. He doesn't even like to read my blog unless it's about him or unless I include some lesson to be learned. If I tried to list all of the hobbies and interests he's had over the years I've known him, it would be a list longer than my arm so here are the ones that have actually stuck with him: Computers, skiing, gardening, and hopefully now, biking. We've also gotten involved in various MLM adventures through the years like New Image vitamins (that one was actually me), Mona Vie, Visalus, etc. He has gone through the phase several times of wanting to get involved in investing in real estate. Each time a new flavor has come along to steal his attention away before he actually pulls the trigger on any houses (how's that for mixed metaphors), but I expect that one day we will own more than just our house and a timeshare. The problem with the man, and you'll think I'm exaggerating here, is that he is just so talented that once he feels like he's learned something and mastered it he loses interest. A little of that has rubbed off on me over the years, not the talented part, but having to master something. When we were newly married a flavor of the month for him at that time was playing Tetris on the computer. (We didn't have kids. We had time to play games on the computer). I had never even heard of Tetris but I wanted to learn to play so he taught me. I became obsessed with getting better at it than him and so I played...a lot...until I had wiped out all ten of his top ten scores. To this day, I don't think there's been anything else where I have actually been able to beat him. Now I realize that by the time I was able to get good enough to wipe out his top ten he had already moved on to the next thing and left Tetris in the dust. That realization just dawned on me as I'm typing this and I find that to be really funny. Honestly, I wouldn't have Lindy any other way. I wish I had some of the money back from flavors that didn't last very long, but I appreciate his need to be challenged. He only had trumpet lessons as a kid. He taught himself to play the drums, the guitar, and the bass guitar and those have stuck with him too. He took piano in college, but didn't do well with that instrument. He can play one song on the piano: "Almost Paradise" from the movie "Footloose." Don't ask me why because I don't know. He's pretty amazing, but I guess I'm partial.
Anyway, once I got interested in buying a bike, and full disclosure here, I did tell Lindy that I would like for him to have a bike too so that we could ride as a family; he was ALL IN. And when I say that Lindy is "all in" I mean that he is committed and he is going to have every accessory known to man to accommodate his new hobby. So, as we settled on buying my bike from our friend, Bill, at the bike shop where he works, Lindy settled on the bike he wanted. (Bill is married to my dear friend and employee of 11 years, Margaret). You won't be surprised when I tell you that we bought Lindy's bike and brought it home before my bike was even officially ordered. Also, that day we bought a bike rack that holds four bikes for the back of the van. That was a necessity. Later that day...you knew there was more to this story, didn't you...Lindy was "adjusting" Jac's very-good-quality Honda bike that we realized was not adjusted well for him (we're bike people now after all, we know how to fit a person on a bike). As Lindy took it on a little test spin he somehow ended up bending the frame. The chain fell off and something else happened, I'm not sure. It's all a blur right now. Anyway, I ended up going to the pool (this was the last weekend in August) and off went Jac and Lindy to the bike store. Of course, they called me while I was poolside and said that Jac's bike couldn't be fixed so Jac was getting a new bike. This was fully expected by me. Also, in the midst of all of this bicycle adjusting, Lindy realizes that ETHAN'S bike is too small. Ethan needs a new bike now. Back to the store they went (this was a few days later) and now Ethan has a new bike. Gavin didn't get a new bike but he has learned to ride without training wheels since the last time I blogged. Yea, Gav!!! So, we are a cycling family. Did I mention Lindy and his bike accessories? I really shouldn't make fun of anyone else and their accessorizing, now should I? But, I will anyway. Granted, his birthday occurred in the midst of bikeapallooza, so I told him he could get a bike computer. He picked one out and it tells you the speed, how far you've traveled, how long you've actually ridden on the bike, etc. We all also have helmets, of course, he and the boys have the water bottle holders and water bottles from the bike shop, he has a black carrying case for the front of his bike, we both have bike jerseys and padded bike shorts. Need I go on? Oh, I also ordered a pretty white basket for the front of my bike but it hasn't come in yet. Anyway, we are having much fun with bicycling and I honestly hope that this flavor of the month sticks. It's good exercise, we can all ride together as a family, Lindy can ride with his friends, etc.
I mentioned in the title of this post that it would also be about facing my fears, but due to the length of this current post, I'm going to make that discussion Part II. So, you'll have to return later to read about what kind of fear I'm talking about, the equally good and challenging part of being married to someone who counsels others as part of his vocation, and the continued saga of bikeapallooza. Hope you've enjoyed Part I.
So what is my new hobby that has turned out to be Lindy's newest "flavor of the month?" (I promise I will explain what is meant by the whole "flavor of the month" thing). Most people who are in my real, every day life have seen the photographic evidence, others on Facebook have been subjected to the same photographic evidence, now it's time to go public. I got a new bike!!!! Here she is pictured below with me. Isn't she pretty?
Her name is "Jenny." That's right. She has a name but I didn't name her. Long story short, I had decided I wanted to get a bike so that I could combine exercise with spending time with my boys. I have real issues with exercise and they go like this: 1) I don't like to get up before the crack of dawn to exercise before work since I already have to get up at 6:00. 2) I don't want to join a gym because I work and that just takes more time away from my family. 3) I haven't been able to run since I was 15 and had a hairline fracture in my left ankle. (I know all you die hard runners are laughing right now and it honestly is probably an excuse at this point). 4) I would rather watch paint dry than to actually walk for exercise. I am a tremendous multi-tasker and so to walk just to walk is almost unbearable to me. I can't hardly watch television without folding a load of laundry or making a grocery list. So, bicycling turned out to be something I thought I could do that would serve more than one purpose and I don't mind adding things to my life that have multiple functions.
So, the search for the right bike began. If you know Lindy and me, you know that we are both researchers, and since he loves research for the sake of research he was right in there with me. He was also ready for a new "flavor of the month" so I wasn't surprised that he was right there with me. We went to numerous bike shops, we searched the internet, we compared bike styles and functions, we sat in our loft area with me on the desktop computer and him on the laptop reading reviews aloud to each other. (Isn't this insight into our exciting lives just absolutely thrilling)?!! I knew already that I wanted a "comfort bike" with a large seat. That's part of the reason I wouldn't ride the mountain bike that had been housed comfortably in our garage for the last 17 or so years. I wanted a bigger seat and I knew I wasn't planning on actually "mountain biking" or bike racing so I found the perfect, beautiful bike for me. (I am fully aware, Gia, that real cyclists will not take me seriously and I'm OK with that). The picture doesn't do it justice. It's turquoise with pink and white polka-dots. It also has a white seat with daisies on it and pink spokes and a bell and...it is just so cool and, apparently so Robin!! No lie, after I got it I had neighbors and strangers alike wanting to know how to get a bike like mine, test riding it, etc. Even my gun-toting, deer-hunting neighbor climbed aboard and took her for a spin. He even rang the bell!! His wife and I were so wishing it hadn't been dark already so that we could have gotten pictures. OK, I digress. My bike is made by the company "Electra" which is out of California and I had to order my bike. Honestly, they just don't have many beach cruisers in the middle of the country and each bike store has only one or two for you to even test drive. I'm not going to go into the technology that makes my bike special, but you should know that it comes in like 15-20 different styles. Mine happens to be called the "Jenny."
How does Lindy's newest "flavor of the month" play into all this? Here's some further insight into my husband. He gets bored easily. Fortunately, he hasn't gotten bored with me or with his vocation, but other than that if he isn't learning something or trying something new or finding a new hobby to get involved in then he gets bored. He doesn't like to read fiction like I do. He wants to read something of substance that teaches him something. He doesn't even like to read my blog unless it's about him or unless I include some lesson to be learned. If I tried to list all of the hobbies and interests he's had over the years I've known him, it would be a list longer than my arm so here are the ones that have actually stuck with him: Computers, skiing, gardening, and hopefully now, biking. We've also gotten involved in various MLM adventures through the years like New Image vitamins (that one was actually me), Mona Vie, Visalus, etc. He has gone through the phase several times of wanting to get involved in investing in real estate. Each time a new flavor has come along to steal his attention away before he actually pulls the trigger on any houses (how's that for mixed metaphors), but I expect that one day we will own more than just our house and a timeshare. The problem with the man, and you'll think I'm exaggerating here, is that he is just so talented that once he feels like he's learned something and mastered it he loses interest. A little of that has rubbed off on me over the years, not the talented part, but having to master something. When we were newly married a flavor of the month for him at that time was playing Tetris on the computer. (We didn't have kids. We had time to play games on the computer). I had never even heard of Tetris but I wanted to learn to play so he taught me. I became obsessed with getting better at it than him and so I played...a lot...until I had wiped out all ten of his top ten scores. To this day, I don't think there's been anything else where I have actually been able to beat him. Now I realize that by the time I was able to get good enough to wipe out his top ten he had already moved on to the next thing and left Tetris in the dust. That realization just dawned on me as I'm typing this and I find that to be really funny. Honestly, I wouldn't have Lindy any other way. I wish I had some of the money back from flavors that didn't last very long, but I appreciate his need to be challenged. He only had trumpet lessons as a kid. He taught himself to play the drums, the guitar, and the bass guitar and those have stuck with him too. He took piano in college, but didn't do well with that instrument. He can play one song on the piano: "Almost Paradise" from the movie "Footloose." Don't ask me why because I don't know. He's pretty amazing, but I guess I'm partial.
Anyway, once I got interested in buying a bike, and full disclosure here, I did tell Lindy that I would like for him to have a bike too so that we could ride as a family; he was ALL IN. And when I say that Lindy is "all in" I mean that he is committed and he is going to have every accessory known to man to accommodate his new hobby. So, as we settled on buying my bike from our friend, Bill, at the bike shop where he works, Lindy settled on the bike he wanted. (Bill is married to my dear friend and employee of 11 years, Margaret). You won't be surprised when I tell you that we bought Lindy's bike and brought it home before my bike was even officially ordered. Also, that day we bought a bike rack that holds four bikes for the back of the van. That was a necessity. Later that day...you knew there was more to this story, didn't you...Lindy was "adjusting" Jac's very-good-quality Honda bike that we realized was not adjusted well for him (we're bike people now after all, we know how to fit a person on a bike). As Lindy took it on a little test spin he somehow ended up bending the frame. The chain fell off and something else happened, I'm not sure. It's all a blur right now. Anyway, I ended up going to the pool (this was the last weekend in August) and off went Jac and Lindy to the bike store. Of course, they called me while I was poolside and said that Jac's bike couldn't be fixed so Jac was getting a new bike. This was fully expected by me. Also, in the midst of all of this bicycle adjusting, Lindy realizes that ETHAN'S bike is too small. Ethan needs a new bike now. Back to the store they went (this was a few days later) and now Ethan has a new bike. Gavin didn't get a new bike but he has learned to ride without training wheels since the last time I blogged. Yea, Gav!!! So, we are a cycling family. Did I mention Lindy and his bike accessories? I really shouldn't make fun of anyone else and their accessorizing, now should I? But, I will anyway. Granted, his birthday occurred in the midst of bikeapallooza, so I told him he could get a bike computer. He picked one out and it tells you the speed, how far you've traveled, how long you've actually ridden on the bike, etc. We all also have helmets, of course, he and the boys have the water bottle holders and water bottles from the bike shop, he has a black carrying case for the front of his bike, we both have bike jerseys and padded bike shorts. Need I go on? Oh, I also ordered a pretty white basket for the front of my bike but it hasn't come in yet. Anyway, we are having much fun with bicycling and I honestly hope that this flavor of the month sticks. It's good exercise, we can all ride together as a family, Lindy can ride with his friends, etc.
I mentioned in the title of this post that it would also be about facing my fears, but due to the length of this current post, I'm going to make that discussion Part II. So, you'll have to return later to read about what kind of fear I'm talking about, the equally good and challenging part of being married to someone who counsels others as part of his vocation, and the continued saga of bikeapallooza. Hope you've enjoyed Part I.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Things I Would Tweet About If I Had a Twitter Account But I Don't, and I Won't, Because I'm Too Wordy and Because of Other Reasons
Sometimes I think of things; usually random, crazy things; and then I say to myself, "Hey, if I had a Twitter account I would probably "tweet" that." I don't have a Twitter account and don't plan on getting one. First of all, I'm not someone who likes to have my phone on my hip at all times. Second, I don't think anyone really cares about what I'm doing at any given moment of the day--especially what I'm eating for dinner, etc. Third, and no offense here, I don't feel the need to be that connected with people that do have twitter accounts. But, the biggest reason of all that I don't twitter or tweet or whatever is because I'm just way too wordy. In fact, when I was a junior in high school in honors English I had a teacher who despised wordiness. I don't think I got back a paper all year that didn't have "Too Wordy!!" written in red across the top of it. Tweeting limits you to 140 characters and I am hard-pressed to express a thought in 140 characters. I have to explain everything just to be able to paint the picture. See, I've already used a whole paragraph to explain why I don't do something. Honestly, my wordiness can drive my husband crazy at times. If he's had a long day and I start in with a story, he'll just stop me and say, "Honey, headlines, please." That's really hard for me. I love to tell the story, whatever the story. I guess that's why I have come to enjoy writing so much. Speaking of Lindy, today is his birthday, and he will not like this post because it will have no lasting impact on the reader. It is meant only to entertain and that is not good enough for him. It's the pastor in him and that's OK. So, if you want to read a beautiful post that was written just for him, you'll have to go back and read this one when I recorded our story that has been 20 years in the making. When he read it after I wrote it he said, "What's not to like? It's all about me."
So, here are the things I would have tweeted in the last week if I had a Twitter account, with explanation included, of course:
"You have to go in Gymboree at Mid Rivers Mall and check yourself out in the mirror at the back of the store."--Now, this week was not the first time I've noticed this mirror. I've been going in there to peruse the clearance racks for my kids for years, but this mirror is fabulous. Seriously, even if you don't have kids, if you live in the St. Louis area you have to go in this store and look at yourself in the mirror hanging in the back of the store on a door that goes to the back room. It's by the clearance racks so it's convenient for me to catch a peek of myself while I'm shopping. It is not a true mirror, so I'll be up front with you on that, but if I could take it home with me I would. It will turn any day into a better day, and you'll leave with a spring in your step. Let me know if you check it out.
"There's a fine line to be negotiated between plucking your eyebrows and waiting to get an eyebrow wax before a special event." Eyebrow maintenance is something that I have only come to appreciate over the last ten or so years. Prior to that my eyebrows were au natural, but since I noticed what a difference it made to actually groom them, I can't give it up. Ask anyone who is into eyebrow maintenance and they will tell you the same thing. I try to pluck once or twice in between eyebrow waxes and my wax lady recognizes my voice over the phone without me saying my name. She does a great job, and she's really reasonable--read cheap. The dilemma comes when you know you want to get them waxed before a big event so that they are nicely shaped, but you've waited too long to pluck in between waxings. You see, there has to be some growth for the wax to adhere to and if you've plucked them too recently then the wax doesn't work as well. Well, I am currently facing that very dilemma. I need to get them waxed next Tuesday and I've been telling myself for the last three weeks that I needed to pluck. I realized a couple days ago that I've waited too long and I've crossed that line of plucking too close to a wax appointment. Please forgive me for the unshapliness of my eyebrows if you see me in person and let me know if you want my wax lady's info.
"I'm scared of electric staplers." I guess that one was able to be communicated in a short, concise statement. I don't really know why. It's not like the stapler is going to turn on me and then I'll find myself being stapled to something, but it's always good to be cautious. My brother would totally not relate to this because he's not afraid of anything like this. He always made fun of me for being afraid of silly stuff.
"Should I break tradition and continue to wear white after Labor Day?" This one is still up for debate and I haven't decided yet. If you're new to my blog then you probably haven't read my post on fashion that I wrote for my cousin, Cara. I go into great detail about wearing white, and specifically, how to wear white. I may break out of my mold and venture out in white after Labor Day, especially if our 100 degree weather continues. The jury's still out on this one.
"I learned this week that I can still sing all the lyrics to 'Diff'rent Strokes.'" That's right. I still got it, baby. Why, you ask, do I know that I can still sing all the lyrics to a show that was broadcast 30 years ago? I'm glad you asked, because of course there's a story to go along with this one. Last summer when Gary Coleman died I was trying to explain to the boys about Arnold and Willis and their show and the line, "What you talkin' about, Willis??" This was all news to them and I don't think a childhood should be spent without understanding the fine one-liners that came from 80s sit coms. So, this had to be remedied, but obviously not right away because the first of the "Diff'rent Strokes" DVDs that I added to the DVD cue on Netflix finally arrived this week. So, they started watching the shows, which last about 23 minutes when you're watching them without commercials, and I had plenty of opportunity to brush up on my lyrics. About the 4th time through I had all the words down and Jac was learning them too. I appreciate that about Jac. He's my child that wants to know all, do all, be all. Ethan had his ears covered. Something I didn't realize before is that the first few episodes didn't have the "Ummmmm" at the end of the theme song. They added that in later episodes. I taught Jac to sing the "Ummmm" before he heard it on one of the shows. If you weren't alive in the 70s and watching this show in the 80s then you will have no idea what I'm talking about. You won't know about the "man with means" who took in the boys who "just had their jeans." You gotta watch you some "Diff'rent Strokes." The boys think the shows are hilarious but Jac was truly hurt to learn that most of the character's real lives didn't turn out as well as living in a penthouse apartment on the East side.
OK, last one. "Gavin offers me perfume/cologne by asking me what I want to smell like that day--a horse, a lollipop, or an old man." What???? The other morning I was getting ready for work and Gavin was "helping." I had already put on scented lotion, which of course, couldn't be mixed with perfume that day, but he kept insisting that I pick a perfume/cologne to wear. He asks, "What do you want to smell like--a horse, a lollipop, or an old man?" I figured out pretty quickly what he meant by the horse and the lollipop but I was perplexed by which one looked like it would cause me to smell like an old man. Here's a picture of the three perfumes/colognes to which he was referring:
Note to Lindy, apparently Gavin associates Lacoste with old man smell. I'm not sure why. Is it the bottle? Is it the scent? I'm not sure about this. I passed on all three.
So, that's it for now. Told you there would be no depth to this post. Just purely for entertainment.
I hope you all have a wonderful Labor Day. We're going to be without kids. What??? Lindy and I are going to be participating in a hobby that started out to be mine, but has turned out to be his, and I hope it sticks with both of us. More on that later. Just know that when the Carnetts decide to get involved in something, we are all in. We're all in--accessories and paraphernalia not withstanding.
So, here are the things I would have tweeted in the last week if I had a Twitter account, with explanation included, of course:
"You have to go in Gymboree at Mid Rivers Mall and check yourself out in the mirror at the back of the store."--Now, this week was not the first time I've noticed this mirror. I've been going in there to peruse the clearance racks for my kids for years, but this mirror is fabulous. Seriously, even if you don't have kids, if you live in the St. Louis area you have to go in this store and look at yourself in the mirror hanging in the back of the store on a door that goes to the back room. It's by the clearance racks so it's convenient for me to catch a peek of myself while I'm shopping. It is not a true mirror, so I'll be up front with you on that, but if I could take it home with me I would. It will turn any day into a better day, and you'll leave with a spring in your step. Let me know if you check it out.
"There's a fine line to be negotiated between plucking your eyebrows and waiting to get an eyebrow wax before a special event." Eyebrow maintenance is something that I have only come to appreciate over the last ten or so years. Prior to that my eyebrows were au natural, but since I noticed what a difference it made to actually groom them, I can't give it up. Ask anyone who is into eyebrow maintenance and they will tell you the same thing. I try to pluck once or twice in between eyebrow waxes and my wax lady recognizes my voice over the phone without me saying my name. She does a great job, and she's really reasonable--read cheap. The dilemma comes when you know you want to get them waxed before a big event so that they are nicely shaped, but you've waited too long to pluck in between waxings. You see, there has to be some growth for the wax to adhere to and if you've plucked them too recently then the wax doesn't work as well. Well, I am currently facing that very dilemma. I need to get them waxed next Tuesday and I've been telling myself for the last three weeks that I needed to pluck. I realized a couple days ago that I've waited too long and I've crossed that line of plucking too close to a wax appointment. Please forgive me for the unshapliness of my eyebrows if you see me in person and let me know if you want my wax lady's info.
"I'm scared of electric staplers." I guess that one was able to be communicated in a short, concise statement. I don't really know why. It's not like the stapler is going to turn on me and then I'll find myself being stapled to something, but it's always good to be cautious. My brother would totally not relate to this because he's not afraid of anything like this. He always made fun of me for being afraid of silly stuff.
"Should I break tradition and continue to wear white after Labor Day?" This one is still up for debate and I haven't decided yet. If you're new to my blog then you probably haven't read my post on fashion that I wrote for my cousin, Cara. I go into great detail about wearing white, and specifically, how to wear white. I may break out of my mold and venture out in white after Labor Day, especially if our 100 degree weather continues. The jury's still out on this one.
"I learned this week that I can still sing all the lyrics to 'Diff'rent Strokes.'" That's right. I still got it, baby. Why, you ask, do I know that I can still sing all the lyrics to a show that was broadcast 30 years ago? I'm glad you asked, because of course there's a story to go along with this one. Last summer when Gary Coleman died I was trying to explain to the boys about Arnold and Willis and their show and the line, "What you talkin' about, Willis??" This was all news to them and I don't think a childhood should be spent without understanding the fine one-liners that came from 80s sit coms. So, this had to be remedied, but obviously not right away because the first of the "Diff'rent Strokes" DVDs that I added to the DVD cue on Netflix finally arrived this week. So, they started watching the shows, which last about 23 minutes when you're watching them without commercials, and I had plenty of opportunity to brush up on my lyrics. About the 4th time through I had all the words down and Jac was learning them too. I appreciate that about Jac. He's my child that wants to know all, do all, be all. Ethan had his ears covered. Something I didn't realize before is that the first few episodes didn't have the "Ummmmm" at the end of the theme song. They added that in later episodes. I taught Jac to sing the "Ummmm" before he heard it on one of the shows. If you weren't alive in the 70s and watching this show in the 80s then you will have no idea what I'm talking about. You won't know about the "man with means" who took in the boys who "just had their jeans." You gotta watch you some "Diff'rent Strokes." The boys think the shows are hilarious but Jac was truly hurt to learn that most of the character's real lives didn't turn out as well as living in a penthouse apartment on the East side.
OK, last one. "Gavin offers me perfume/cologne by asking me what I want to smell like that day--a horse, a lollipop, or an old man." What???? The other morning I was getting ready for work and Gavin was "helping." I had already put on scented lotion, which of course, couldn't be mixed with perfume that day, but he kept insisting that I pick a perfume/cologne to wear. He asks, "What do you want to smell like--a horse, a lollipop, or an old man?" I figured out pretty quickly what he meant by the horse and the lollipop but I was perplexed by which one looked like it would cause me to smell like an old man. Here's a picture of the three perfumes/colognes to which he was referring:
 |
| Horse--obviously |
 |
| Lollipop--I get that. Doesn't it look like an upside down lollipop? |
 |
| Old man--OK, not sure about this one. |
So, that's it for now. Told you there would be no depth to this post. Just purely for entertainment.
I hope you all have a wonderful Labor Day. We're going to be without kids. What??? Lindy and I are going to be participating in a hobby that started out to be mine, but has turned out to be his, and I hope it sticks with both of us. More on that later. Just know that when the Carnetts decide to get involved in something, we are all in. We're all in--accessories and paraphernalia not withstanding.
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