I guess the first good thing that happened during the midst of this was my fantastic road trip to Oklahoma City with an amazing group of ladies. We went to a wonderful conference and it was the perfect mix of laughter and tears. Mostly tears from laughter. It was on the way down there, specifically in Vinita, OK; when I had the first sign that my pregnancy might not go to full term. You might think that I would have wished to be home instead of on the road, but I believe God knew what He was doing in timing this conference with my own personal experience. If I had been at home I'm sure I would have had more of a tendency to worry, but I was too busy and having too much fun to worry about anything.
After we returned home I had an ultrasound on that Monday morning which confirmed that I was, indeed, losing the baby. There was sadness, but as I mentioned in a previous post, God answered my prayer and helped my boys to accept, in their own ways, that this baby was not meant to me. This was a good thing that was heavy on my heart, yet God took care of it.
Two days later the cramping came with a vengeance each morning for four days--Wednesday through Saturday. I felt almost normal in the afternoon and evening but could barely move for the pain in the morning hours. It was that Thursday night at around 10:30 when Lindy and I realized that Gavin was going to require a trip to the ER. I remember searching on my iPad for an urgent care that was open that late and saying under my breath, "God, I can't take much more at one time." But, you see God has a sense of humor and He knew that what was to happen on Saturday was going to make Gavin's ER visit seem like a cake walk. Had I known that Gavin's second trip to the ER in 6 months was going to turn out so well compared to Ethan's crisis, I would have been even more thankful. If you missed the telling of Gavin's first trip to the ER, you can read about it here. We do not plan on making a habit of this. We don't want trips for Gavin to the ER to compete with all of Jac's "I knocked another tooth out" incidents or our numerous calls to Poison Control for Ethan when he was a toddler. We called so many times that I just knew there was a red flashing light that went off every time a call came in concerning Ethan. One of the last times, when he bit off a chunk of dishwashing cube, I just chose not to call. I figured by that time we might just be one call away from Division of Family Services making a house call.
Gavin's ER visit turned out well. He got some Prednisone and a couple more breathing treatments and they sent him on his merry way. (I kind of had a feeling what he needed was Prednisone and when I took him for his follow-up appointment this week with our doctor I asked if I could just have some Prednisone at home in case this happens again. His response was, "If Gavin is having enough trouble breathing that you think he needs a steroid, then he needs to be seen by a physician." I think what he really wanted to say was, "What kind of nurse ARE you?" Not the real kind, obviously).
I spent Friday morning in bed then was up and around in the afternoon and evening. By that night, Ethan was coughing almost non-stop in spite of Benadryl, Robitussin, and breathing treatments. He slept OK but was still in bad shape Saturday morning. Lindy took him to Urgent Care because I was just starting to come around from the cramping that morning. A good thing here is that the staff at the pediatric urgent care in our town is fabulous. They were very concerned for Ethan and even left a message on our machine the next day inquiring about his condition.
If you read my last post about my remarkable boy, Ethan, then you know that he faced this whole experience without tears, complaining, or whining. The first thing he had to face upon arriving in the ER was his mother who looked nothing like his mother. Wet hair, no makeup.... Did I mention in my last post that I was in the shower when Lindy called to say they were taking Ethan in an ambulance to the hospital and that I BEAT THE AMBULANCE TO THE HOSPITAL?? Seriously, Ethan's concern probably rose considerably when he saw the condition I was in. "Wow, I must be doing bad if my Mom looks like this!" The first thing that was funny to me was that in spite of the odd rhythm in my heart I noticed the shirt Ethan was wearing and tucked that visual away to chuckle about later. He has this green t-shirt with orange lettering that says really big, "Why the Face?" Maybe that isn't funny to you but in the condition he was in and all of the concerned faces around him, his shirt was asking "Why the Face?"
I'm going to try not to re-tell stories from previous posts because I already included funny stuff there, but I will mention that after Jac was making fun of me as Ethan was throwing up at the sight of his IV being inserted, Jac had to leave the room and didn't come back. I failed to mention that in the last post. He couldn't stand seeing his brother go through all of this. Maybe the memories were too fresh from Ethan's last ER visit, recounted here, and how concerned he was then for his brother.
During the hospital stay, Ethan was hot the whole time. He is my cold-natured child just like me and at home he always wants to wear long pajamas at night. He even tucks his pajama legs into his socks because his "ankles get cold." Seriously. He was hot due to all of the albuterol coursing through his system and Sunday morning the pulmonologist told us that in the previous 20 hours or so Ethan had already had more albuterol than most asthmatics take in a year! So, Ethan is there with no shirt on and me with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders most of the time. We were quite a pair.
We spent a lot of time on my iPad while in the hospital; me on Facebook, checking e-mail, blogging, playing Solitaire, etc. Ethan mainly played games. Ethan noticed that I still had the standard wallpaper on my iPad so he suggested we change that. Here's the picture he wanted as my background:
He let me include his brothers for the wallpaper:
I was happy to comply and give him a little of the spotlight for the time being.
Another funny thing was the plethora of questions that Ethan asked me while he was in the hospital. Not concerning his hospital stay, mind you, but just random questions. I wish I had written them all down but here are two that I can recall: "Mom, if you were going to get a million dollars would you let someone duct tape you to a wing of a plane and let them fly you one block?" and "Mom, if you were going go to go Las Vegas, not to gamble, but you were just going to Las Vegas; would you drive straight through?" Not sure where he came up with those but there were many more and I answered all of them to the best of my ability.
We had some friends visit us in the hospital to pray for us and to bring us snacks. I hope they don't mind me retelling this story but I won't mention names in case they do mind. We were talking about the terrible storms and tornadoes and this close friend of ours told us about the time he was struck by lightning. He told us that he went outside to watch a thunderstorm--without his shirt on--and chose to watch said storm by leaning against his gutter. Lightning struck the gutter, shot down, and knocked him off his feet on to the ground. Once his wife realized he was OK she was laughing at him while he was still on the ground. I would sooooooo laugh at Lindy if he was dumb enough to do something like that. He does other dumb things, as do I, he just hasn't done that before. After they left, Ethan asked me, "Did he really stand outside during a storm without his shirt on leaning against a gutter and get struck by lightning?" Apparently, he did. Ethan said, "That was really idiotic. Doesn't he know that when you live in Missouri you're not supposed to do that kind of thing?" He does, but we all do stupid things sometimes.
I should mention here that another good thing that happened while Ethan was in the hospital was that I essentially had no cramping! I felt like it was starting to come back on Sunday night but it did not. It was a real concern of mine that I wouldn't be functional while Ethan was in the hospital due to the pain but I didn't have any. I'm very thankful for that.
Another very good thing is that the pulmonologist told me Tuesday morning when he was recommending discharge for Ethan that some kids take 2 1/2 weeks!! to be weaned from the oxygen. They can't leave the hospital while on oxygen. Ethan turned it around in three days. Very good.
Upon returning home on Tuesday I had to, once again, face the fact that I was still in the process of this miscarriage and I really did not want to deal with it. Upon the urging of my boss/friend, Carrie, I called the doctor; fell apart on the phone to his nurse, and sobbed out my story to her. I hadn't shed one tear since the Monday before when we found we were losing the baby. My doctor wasn't swayed by my tears and said he still thought I should have surgery so a D&C was scheduled for early Thursday morning. Wonder of wonders, I ended up passing the baby on my own on that Tuesday night with no cramping. I went for an ultrasound on Wednesday to confirm that I didn't need surgery and had to be seen by one of my doctor's partners since my doctor was out of the office. His partner walked in to the room and he said, "I think we've met before." I replied, "Yeah, the last time you saw me you left me with a big scar across my belly." (He was the doctor who did Gavin's c-section). He pointed at me and said, "That's right, 'facial presentation.'" "Yep, that's me, good ole 'facial presentation.'" He confirmed that I didn't need surgery and said he would call my doctor and let him know. He asked what time my surgery was scheduled the following morning and I told him 6:00 a.m. He said, "Maybe I won't call your doctor and we'll just let him show up." Not nice, but funny. He called him.
When I think about how well Ethan handled his whole experience it shouldn't surprise me that he dealt with it with such a peace about him. After all, I still read my little book, "God's Creative Power," shown here, all the time:
When I was reading it the other morning it struck me that one of the lines I recite all the time is "Great is the peace of my children for they are taught of the Lord." Why shouldn't my children have peace, regardless of their circumstances? I'm speaking peace over them every day.
Here's a last picture of our aptly named "Wire Boy." I kept telling him that he was quite a "trooper" and he thinks that a "trooper" needs some kind of Stampede Nerf Gun. I guess I might be shopping for one soon. He has all of his tubes and IV on his left hand in this picture. He had the pulse ox monitor on his right hand once in a while and he would ask the nurse to move it to the other hand. He would say, "I just need one good hand, just one good hand." :)
I've titled this post "All the Good Stuff and the Funny Stuff" but, really, what it is is a real-life example of Philippians 4:8. "...whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--think about such things." I think we can include the "good stuff" and the "funny stuff" as 'such things.' God wants us to keep our focus on Him, trust Him with all our hearts, think about the good stuff, and shake off the rest. I pray you would put your trust in Him and see what He can do in your heart and life. I know you won't be disappointed.
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